Recently, one of my tweetards (if you’re on twitter at all, you’ve probably noticed that all the really good celebrity accounts [snooki, perfect example] feature little terms of endearment for their followers, and that these terms of endearment are almost always ‘tweet’ based puns…and I’m nothing if not an amazing celeb tweeter, y’all) turned me on to the website isanyoneup.com. and I’ve gotta say, I’m pretty amazed by the whole thing. It’s left me deeply shaken and confused, but I guess at the end of the day I back the whole thing. I guess…Hard to say. Okay, let’s start at what little I can glean from my perusal:
At first glance, Is anyone up is a fairly typical blog not unlike guess her muff or is she filthy (RIP) that features random naked chicks. Nothing weird there. I mean, something like 64% of the internet focuses on the successful pairing of tits/pussy and honestly, when I get to a website DEVOID of female nudity, I’m a little disappointed. Anyway…
This website also features a pretty sizeable helping of cock in the mix, which is cool. I’m into dudes showing off their junk, if for no other reason than it’s pretty hilarious to see the shots that a guy picks as representative once his dick is out. It’s pretty much all focused on how good his dong looks in the picture (um, it’s always gonna look funny), and this can be at the expense of him having his gut grossly bunching up or a completely weird look on his face…whatever. It’s pretty amusing to see dudes whipping out their dongs, period, but in a situation where they’re attempting to be sexy for anyone other than other dudes, well, uh…heh.
Okay, so that’s the main gist of the site. The pictures, it should be noted, are almost all self portraits, taken with cel phones and/or with laptop cameras. It also becomes apparent after a little looking around that while a lot of the pictures are sent in by the people in the pictures, a lot of them seem to have been sent in by other people, as in, I send you a pic of my tits because we’re fucking/having flirty times via cel phone, you send them to the website just to kind of be a cocksucker and then I send them that pic of your wang and boom! We’re both on this website where kids communicate through a whole series of misspelled words, acronyms and strange (third party, pirated, non porn) pictures that I’m aware enough to realize are part of one of a few pretty large memes, but not really into enough to see the humor in. In short, the whole thing seems kind of cruel and dumb, but there’s two points that make this fascinating:
1) The people on the site don’t seem to find it to be cruel or dumb. In fact, what started out as a guy posting stolen and repurposed private beav shots (the legality of the whole thing baffles me, but they’ve got a legal section that they claim absolves them from all uh…I dunno lawsuit type problems? Seems like it’s gonna fuck em in the ass, but what do I know?) has now turned into chicks and dudes sending him pictures. They whole thing is wildly popular and it bears mentioning that the dude that runs the site is probably up to his ears in pussy, he’s got tons of uh, ‘fans’ and they all operate under the same general pretenses which are: ‘we dont spell or punctuate or capitalize and we leav the last letters off words and use tons of acronyms LMAFO’ and ‘getting naked on the internet is awesome, and it doesn’t REALLY matter if that picture was supposed to be private as long as the commenters think I’m hot” which leads me to the second reason that this website is so fascinating:
2) I’m clearly old as shit, because none of this makes any sense to me. I look at all the misspellings and the uh…I guess ‘betrayal of trust’ (though that’s a highly fruity phrase that I don’t like using) that’s fueling this site and I think that it’s a depraved fucked up world of mongos, but then GASP!!!! Isn’t that what my parents thought about the shit I did when I was a kid? Isn’t that the eternal struggle between young and old? Isn’t it that VERY NOTION of not being able to realize when something’s dumb vs. just fun or something’s ‘how shit is’ vs. ‘depraved’ that makes people old and square? I mean, at the risk of answering my own rhetorical question, um…yes. It is. I mean, it’s become clear to me, via this website, that I’m completely out of touch. I’ve been respectfully asking for pictures of your cans/snizz/piece for years, and sure, I get one here and there, but this guy just started taking em without asking, and now he can’t update his site fast enough, there’s so much tang in his inbox. I guess that’s the way you get shit now. You just take. Wow. It’s cold in the D, folks.
I suppose it’s kind of a weird parallel to how I don’t illegally download records, not because I’m terribly opposed to stealing (I do it with porn) but because when I started consuming records, I had no choice but to buy them, and so now when I think about getting a new record, I think about buying it, because I KNOW HOW to buy records, and I don’t know how to download them. I know it’s easy and I could learn, but what the fuck? It seems like something I should just buy, I always have.
BUT, I talk to some of my friends that are in their early 20’s and they’ve NEVER bought a record. EVER. That’s the way it’s going. Those people would never just start paying for something that they’ve always gotten for free. It’s a totally, totally different set of rules, and I guess maybe that’s what’s happening over at Is Anyone Up too…it’s a whole new world of getting shit for free and kind of being rewarded for taking that I don’t understand, but I guess I’m not really supposed to. I’m just a desiccated grandpa that has let the world pass him by.
Also, it bears mentioning that a lot of the dudes who’s cocks are featured on this website are ‘famous’ but I’ve never heard of any of their bands. I mean, I would guess they’re bands from New Jersey and Orange County based on the haircuts and humongous amounts of tattoos on these people (which is a whole other thing…these kids are covered. Their dicks, tits, faces [faces!], throats, hands, fingers…I mean, I’m not some square that’s worried about them getting a job someday [never gonna happen by the way], I just think it’s crazy that you’d cover your whole body at such a young age. What about later on when you want to get a tattoo and the only place left is under your nutsack? What about the fact that your whole body is gonna be a walking, talking ode to the aesthetic sensibility that you had when you were 22? It seems a bit crazy, but again, what the fuck do I know?) but I’ve never even HEARD of these bands and I’m guessing that they’re pretty popular. They pretty much all look like they’d be in AP, if they’d put their dicks away.
What the fuck happened? I used to know what was going on…I used to be with it, but (to paraphrase Abe) they’ve clearly changed what ‘it’ is…WTF? LMFAO. LOL. Sigh…
Tits? Send em in. Fuck…I’ll post em. Is that what you people want? Where’s my cane?