like a king without a crown....

Hey wow! Did you guys know that Run DMC is working on a broadway musical? Or that Metallica is joining the search for their missing fan? How about matisyahu? He’s got a new record coming out! Yay! That’s great right? Sure it is…sigh. These, my sweet little dogs of war, are clues to my insane frustration. I have to go to work, and I’m trying to set this shit up so if IF this exciting news posts today I can keep you all informed by updating my blog using my phone. Don’t really know if that’s gonna work though. I’m sorry. I was led astray. I got everyone excited early (including myself) only to drag our collective dicks/dangling lips through the dirt for two days. Fuck.
Well, if it’s any consolation, practice was great last night. We played through the setlist for our ten year anniversary show on Saturday, and it’s cool. It’s about thirty songs, which is a ton. Hope you’re ready for it, Dogs.
God, I hate Matisyahu. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, liking matisyahu is proof positive that you’re racist. He’s terrible. His flow is weak, his rhymes are lAAAAAAAAme, his singing, barely in tune. If he was a black guy, Jamaican or otherwise, he’d be recognized as the untalented dildo box that he is, but since he’s “quirky” (read: dipshit Phish fan turned fake Hasid) he’s suddenly recognized as bringing something legit to the table? Huh. That’s odd. I don’t recall Phish fans or Hasids being galvanizing hip-cultural phenomena ever before…or since. So, well, can’t be that. What else does he have that no other dancehall reggaeton types have? Oh yes. Whiteness. Stop staring at me, Matisyahu. You’re a dipshit and I know, I KNOW that you at one point in your life wore sandals and smoked ‘dank buds’ through a hand blown chillum while listening to ‘run like an antelope.’ Now, you’re pushing the jew-black racial tensions even more than anyone ever thought possible by pissing off everyone. Look out, Professor Griff. Your Neo has arrived.
I can’t even talk about this anymore. I’m frustrated.
Again, sorry for the lack of info. Believe me, this bums me out as much as, or more than it does you.
Xoxoxox

they're fucking me, people! FUCKING ME!

I can't believe this shit. I am SET to unload all over you people like Peter North on a girl who hates her dad, but shit is dragging. Now there's that stupid thing on Amazon where you can listen to a random thirty seconds of each song, and shit's getting premiered by our buddy at the BBC, Mike Davies, but none of this is what I wanted to tell you about. Gets more exciting and more unlikely that it'll live up to the hype every moment, don't it? Sure do. Okay, well, just know that I'm ready, the second this shit gets put in place, I'm telling you all about it. At this point, though, there's nothing to tell. I could link you to a website that doesn't have anything on it yet if you want, but well, you're already on one of those right now, aren't you? Heh. Okay. I'm gonna go put these songs you all voted for in order. Penultimate practice tonight, everyone! This is a dress rehearsal, so I'll be doing the bass solo from Quincentuple your money with my ballsack, just like I plan on doing at the metro.
stay tuned

ah! Ah! Ah...ah. ah...

Wow, so that was a real uh…dry hump, or handjob that never paid off that I gave you guys yesterday, huh? Well, look. I’m not in charge of all the proper channels of social discourse on the internet and let’s just say that the whole snafu yesterday was out of my control. What I WILL tell you is that I’ve been told by the powers that be (illuminati in conjunction with the masons/knights Templar/skull n bones) that TODAY is in fact the day in which I will be able to shower you with important and exciting information. So, be patient. Please know that I’m not intentionally trying to string you along, my precious little dogs of war. I’m doing the best I can with what god gave me. Is that so wrong? Is it? Exactly.
Hey! I will say that that haircut magazine, AP posted a review of my band’s new record, and wouldn’t you know it? It’s a good review. Just goes to show, we’re, not unlike the papacy, infallible.
Okay, so stay tuned. This is the day that I’ll be posting something exciting (and I’ve already written the long and drawn out blog entry to go along with it, which is why I’m not really bothering to write much right now). Sorry about yesterday, y’all. Keep watching the skies. There’s something out there.
xo

Actually!

We ARE going to give you turds something today! I've been getting pulled back and forth by the powers that be like some sort of handsome and intelligent penis, and it seems like in just a few short moments I'm gonna have something wicked awesome for you all (wicked awesome means 'good' for those of you who aren't Massholes).
Okay, stand by for transmission.

oh! Snap!

Looks like this link isn't getting posted today after all. What a dick punch! Sorry for the excitement. Look for a regular update in a couple of hours.
Thanks,
Your leader

stand by for transmission....

Today's bad sandwich chronicles entry will contain an important link. That link is not yet active, so please rest assured that big shit is afoot here at BSC world HQ and we'll be with you as soon as we can.
Thanks for your patience, dildos.