and the rivers will flow with blood...

Well, it's finally happened. God's punishing us in the midwest for our depraved homosexual lifestyle. You've probably read about the tons of frozen water falling from the sky and the temperatures cold enough to kill a chihuahua or an infant or a grandma or a homeless guy, right? Well, it's happening. The end is fucking nigh, and I for one don't have time time to waste jib jabbin with you folks. I gotta get out there and get my end-of-all-things blowjob and repent and get jesus's autograph and find kirk cameron so he can laugh at me like I so richly deserve. SO, with that said, I gotta go. See you all in hell. I'll be by the pool that's shaped like Hitler's mustache, just chilling with Wilt Chamberlain and Judge Ito.
Cool?
All right. Enjoy the rapture!
Ta.