hey dicks!

I'm in england. I'm finna be brief since I'm on chris's computer and there are at least three other people who still need to whack off after me before our soundcheck. The shows so far have been excellent. That buckfast tonic wine shit, a product i was turned onto by someone in the sock drawer and first given by some irishmen 2 days ago (it's like if sparks was made with cocaine and bacardi 151 instead of redbull and old english) is indeed the work of the devil (it's responsible for something astounding like 80% of all crimes in the place where it's brewed).
In response to the latest trending in the sock drawer, let me throw out there that I, like so many before me have also been forced to drink a little urine here and there, so there's that. Don't hate on my clown friend, he's obviously got enough problems, you jackals.
In other news, our friends in Under Stars and Gutters are not only a great band, and really nice guys, but they drink whiskey by the pint glass and have an anarchist vegan driver who looks forward to "workers tribunals" the way some people look forward to judging a blowjob contest. I'm so stoked to be over here and I just want to thank everyone who's made the last two nights awesome. Come say hi if you're over here in the UK/Ireland and we'll get a pint, eh? Good.
Okay, gotta run
Ta!