Showing posts with label nine great new ways to utilize that old anti feminine itch applicator. Show all posts
Showing posts with label nine great new ways to utilize that old anti feminine itch applicator. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

it was the heat of the moment

I’m looking for inspiration around the internet to find something to type for you people. Here’s what I got.
In Hawaii there’s little boys that are raised like little girls (called mahus) that are kind of holy and they kind of have this chicks with dicks situation that is reflected in a lot of pacific islander culture even as far west (or is it back east) as Thailand, where chicks with dicks rule the roost, so to speak.
Personally, I find nothing interesting about chicks with dicks. Well, that’s not true. I find the notion that people get born into the wrong bodies to be one of the most tragic and eternally fascinating things that happens on this planet. I mean, what a fucking drag. Born into a body that’s not your own…sheesh. That’s the worst. And, I know that the internet has blunted people’s general ability to distinguish, understand and digest sarcasm so let me just say overtly that this is not sarcasm, kay? Okay. Good. We’re clear. Nicely.
I mean, do you know what the process is to go about getting a dick turned into a cunt? It’s brutal. They cut off your dickhead, scoop out your shaft, invert everything, put the head back on as some sort of clit and then just kind of hope for the best. That’s not cool. It’s, in fact, terrible. Now, I’m sure that my version here is an oversimplified retelling of what a m/f sex reassignment is like, but if it’s even REMOTELY like this, JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!!!!! That’s not something you do because you don’t like your parents or you’re bored or Guess doesn’t make the jeans you like in a mans cut. That’s serious “my soul is tortured and I’d rather mutilate this improperly assigned body and get a half assed version of the one I want then go on another day like this” type shit. I’ve never felt that. You? Probably not. Thank god. I mean, born into the wrong body. That’s a fucking serious kick in the fake pussy, right? Fuuuuuuuuck.
Now, that being said, the mahus are raised as girls from the time they’re born and ascribed a sort of holy status so they’re not tortured souls…well, maybe they are. I gotta imagine that’s pretty a pretty weird way to get started in life, raised as a woman but being male. Call me old fashioned.
Here’s the thing. Gender bending is cool to me. I’m into it. I like drag and I like feminine dudes and masculine chicks. I think it’s alright. It’s groovy. Whatever. BUT, I can’t help it, sex change situations kind of gross me out. I can’t look at buck angel and not be disturbed. I can’t look at a dude with tits (or a ‘chick with a dick’ if you feel that’s a more apt description) and not be just kind of put off. It’s not an intellectual thing…like I said up above here, I couldn’t feel worse for someone who has to deal with that kind of self evaluation and subsequent series of choices, and lord knows I’m not here to judge anyone. Fuck. I’d probably look GREAT with a couple of DD cups swingin off me, but I can’t. I’m a prude. I’m a Midwestern boy with a low threshold for weird, I guess, because tranny shit, the surgical stuff, mind you, not the cosmetic stuff, really, really really kind of freaks me out.
I knew this dude in highschool. He was gayer than Christmas back then and he went on to become kind of a ladyboy, and good for him. Glad he went for it. Really. BUT, the day I saw him at the L and L tavern and he asked me if I wanted to see his “new titties” that he’d grown by taking some sort of hormone cocktail, I kind of lost my passion for the “I’m going to just love and be down with everyone” game. And it’s not that I’m not down with this dude’s choices. It’s not that I think any less of him. It’s that his pill-induced new tits are just fundamentally gross to me. Sorry. I’d be disingenuous if I said otherwise. It’s not a cultural or learned thing. It’s a fundamental gut thing that I can’t help. He also mentioned that I’ve aged horribly, but I don’t think that has anything to do with my revulsion at his tit set, do you? I mean, I’m the first person to admit that I’m no me at twenty two, but is that really an issue when you’re face to face up against some cokehead’s gross overgrown hairy man tits on display, chemically altered to be something other than what they were sort of genetically designed to be (mental state of the host of the body notwithstanding).
Like I said, good on ya, trannies. Fer real. I’m sorry I can’t go all the way to the hospital with y’all, and I’m sorry there aren’t better options for ya. Though buck angel looks pretty good, really. And there was Tula. Remember her? No. Of course you don’t. You’re just kids. Your trannies are probably all gorgeous. This whole thing is probably gonna be so dated so soon when scientists figure out one or two things regarding fake cocks and cunts and all that.
Well, enjoy your brave new world. I, for one, can’t wait. Because I’ve grown up with these trannies all around me my whole life (my childhood neighborhood was, no shit, the ‘tranny hooker’ zone in Chicago in the 80’s when I was living there) and I think I’m a little traumatized as a result.
Okay. That’s all.