Wednesday, July 20, 2011

dynamite.

Lady Gaga was on Howard Stern the other day and she was just awesome. Not only did she handle all Howard’s questions and come across as driven and eccentric without sounding like a total shithead, she also is one of the only people I’ve ever heard skate the line between answering the more titillating questions and saying “I don’t really think that’s appropriate” without sounding like a complete turd/prude/person with something weird to hide.

To top it off, she performed two songs, “Hair” and “Edge Of Glory” with just vocals and a piano and both songs were absolutely unbelievable. It’s not often that I listen to ANY music and have to consciously think to myself “uh, dude, you may potentially start crying right now if you’re not careful” unless I’m super-duper wasted/hungover/emotionally vulnerable, but yesterday I was just driving along and boom, I was about one click away from being Spade and Farley listening to the Carpenters in Tommy Boy.

Now, there are a lot of issues to address here, most of them involving me being a total pansy for A) having any respect for Lady Gaga or worse, B) being the kind of aging hipster douche that PRETENDS to like Lady Gaga because it’s eccentric and shows a breadth of taste and the sophistication to see the masterful simplicity of the songcraft in the vapid pop machine and blah blah blah. There’s of course C) Only total homos cry, except for at your army buddy’s funeral or at the ceremony where your son receives the medal after getting Osama.

Other issues include the fact that these renditions of “Hair” and “Edge of Glory” sound a LOT alike and that she’s making some pretty weird faces, playing piano with talon-like nails and generally the whole thing is rife with easy-to-mock trappings. There are long responses to all these issues but the quick answer to all of them is pretty much this: Hey man, whatever. I thought she was great.

There’s this pervasive notion in the mainstream and counterculture alike that as a collective, humanity is nothing but a mad grip of buffoons and we heap all this praise on these talentless hacks just because they’re beautiful and have access to the studio wizardry of Wil.I.Am. We all get furious because these shitheads don’t deserve it. They’re ciphers. They stink. What ever happened to talent? To substance over style? To artists like Phil fucking Collins! That motherfucker may not have been beautiful, but he could sing the dick right off a dog, boy. But this new batch of shit…Who likes this shit? Pre teen girls? Fuck. Hell in a handbasket. That’s where we’re headed with this bullshit.

And on and on like this.

It’s funny because (and this is getting dangerously close to ‘leave Britney alone’ territory) Lady Gaga is a great singer and a great songwriter and she’s kind of funny looking and finally, after a decade plus of mindless pop and boybands and Svengali-pupeteered dipshit pigs we finally really, truly do have a megastar that’s actually a great musician, talented songwriter, gifted vocalist, weird iconoclast, who’s also odd looking, and yet when you look up and go, ‘man, lady gaga is just fucking incredible’ people smirk and go, “Oh man, I didn’t think you went for that pop bullshit” or worse “oh, look at you with your shitty, ironic hipster praise of another pop turd. You’re essentially Pitchfork sucking off the Carter 3” all the while ignoring that this woman is actually the real deal that deserves the praise she’s getting because she’s done all the things you need to do to earn said praise and she did it while being weird looking in a VERY superficial industry and in front of an increasingly fickle public.

It goes back to enthusiasm and being a poser and the way that everyone is afraid to show any interest in anything at all because we live in a poisoned culture of cynical dicks, but this time the teenaged girls and the homos were right. Lady Gaga’s piano performances on Stern were truly powerful and touching and sure, maybe all you like is Slayer and it seems mad gay to you, maybe you just listen to Eminem and the Geto Boyz and that weird-chick-on-a-piano shit has nothing to do with your tastes. But me, I’m an old shitty man who has very little faith in anything and who decided to get into punk rock because I thought polish and stadium seating and virtuosity were overrated non-necessities that only got in the way of the visceral impact of the shared experience of music, and this shit floors me. Go ahead and call me a pussy.

I think Lady Gaga is fucking incredible.

31 comments:

Unknown said...

An emphatic fuck yeah! While I personally don't care for Lady GaGa's music, she is one hell of a performer and dare I say, role model. Her sincerity blasts through in her performances and her musical talent is undeniable. More than once I have been drawn into her performances and/or interviews on the tv where I find myself thinking "I would never listen to this, but damn it's fucking Awesome! Why can't I turn the channel?" As a 37 yr old married man who's favorite band is TLA's, I have been grappling with my deep appreciation for Lady Gaga. Pussy status confirmed.

Brian said...

wow, get off gagas dick already

BEEXtrix Potter said...

"...and yet when you look up and go, ‘man, lady gaga is just fucking incredible’ people smirk and go, “Oh man, I didn’t think you went for that pop bullshit” or worse “oh, look at you with your shitty, ironic hipster praise of another pop turd. You’re essentially Pitchfork sucking off the Carter 3".

Yeah, but you are doing that. Sometimes a beeex is just a beeeeeex, beeeeeeeeeeeeeeex!

Seagull Steve said...

Yeah just watched the hair video. Pretty solid. Unironically.

Brendan27 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
BEEXtrix Potter said...

Ohh but beeex, I'm just beeexin! I have my lil' secret satchel of turds as well. But cmon, that ostensibly-rehearsed part where she pauses to say "Today I like my, lil' Cruella highlights..." is obnoxious as fuck.

Brendan27 said...

Two things surprised me, the fact you heard Howard recording a new show (he has like 51 days vacation this summer) and that Gaga was good. I agree she has talent, but she came across the exact opposite when she was on Letterman. She did a terrible interview.

BEEXtrix Potter said...

Oh, she wore an all-meat outfit? Yeah that's how not in tune I am to those award shows n shit. Nevermind, carry on Gaga.

BEEXtrix Potter said...

What? A secret turd? Ok well that funktified guitar riff from En Vogue's 'Dont Let Go' gets stuck in my head for embarrassingly long stretches of time. Dontcha wanna beeeeeeeeeeeeex/moooooo-ooooooore den friiiiiii-iiiiiiiieeeeends

BEEXtrix Potter said...

PS the amount of folks who think that song is called 'Wassit it gonna be' is simply comical! Ahahahahahahaha

jbody said...

leave brit alone happened when she had already become a national joke.the current zeitgeist is pretty much completely in line with the crux of todays entry.shes a recent time magazine 100 most potent people for heavens sake.she has received the vampiric elton john endorsement that everyone from marc bolan to eminem got when they counted..who was this shit aimed at?....fucking off with their heads or some shit?....no shit beex.....naaaaaw,shiiiiit beeeeex!

jbody said...

uhhh.lotta shiiiiits

FranklinStein said...

I've said it before and I'll say it again: I think Lady Gaga is goddamn HOT. Yes, she has a peculiar fashion sense, but when she's wearing regular clothes and virtually no makeup, the fantasizing in my head really revs up. Oh, and her talent is unquestionable. Lady Gaga owns.

slippyjones said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
slippyjones said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
slippyjones said...

I have loved Lady Gaga for awhile and I am a serious punk rocker. She reminds me of Marilyn Manson in 1996 minus the male-chauvinist bullshit. She gets the punk rockers and that's why I love it. Is it crazy to like a pop-star? Yes... But she writes her own shit and she doesn't use auto-tune that often, if she does it's an effect on her voice. She reminds me of Cyndi Lauper during 1983-1988. "I'm going to be who I want to, and FUCK YOU if you don't like it."

seannader said...

u r a pussy

Neilchair said...

Although I'm always slightly hesitant to post in here for various reasons, I looked up the Edge of Glory song after reading this and discovered a few things: 1) The official video version of the song is not appealing, 2) a different performance of her doing it with just piano is pretty powerful, 3) especially towards the end, her voice takes on a strange Springsteen-like quality. Thanks for the heads-up on the song.

Dissent said...

"It goes back to enthusiasm and being a poser and the way that everyone is afraid to show any interest in anything at all because we live in a poisoned culture of cynical dicks, but this time the teenaged girls and the homos were right."

Fucking awesome.

Dave said...

I hate to be a buzzkill but I just don't care for Gaga. I know she has talent, unlike a lot of other performers on top 40 radio. But I just can't stand to listen to her being interviewed. She has to constantly point out, every two minutes, how brilliant she is and how she is a songwriting genius. That gets old. And a lot of her songs vaguely sound like some of Madonna's 80's stuff.

Costigan said...

Gaga's music is over produced. it's all so sterile and predictable. Gaga herself is interesting. Currently she is a product of labels and fashion... but underneath all the meat suits and stupid shit is a talented and deserving individual. if you peeled back the layers of most modern pop stars you will end up finding very little. Gaga has some form of depth. which is nice. she ain't no Q Lazzarus mind you.

as for the whole poser issue... i used to be ashamed of loving a song titled Young Shields by Casiotone for the Painfully Alone. I thought it would ruin my street cred or something. Years later all my friends/cred are gone, but the song still makes me feel dandy. I also realized that it's basically a punk song under the guise of keyboards and a melancholy fellow. super.

jakegreen said...

how dare you not only listen to one kind of music.

Hamilton Martin said...

shit ain't my bag but I ain't gonna hate on anybody for digging on any music created by a real musician. We all have our guilty pleasures.

shawful said...

Because of this entry, I gave it a listen. (Billboard has it posted here: http://www.billboard.com/news#/news/lady-gaga-to-howard-stern-i-don-t-give-a-1005282372.story ) And I definitely gained some respect listening to this, but I was most surprised with how much HOWARD seems to respect her. He's almost is awe of her the entire time. It's cute.

It's A-Me, Martucci said...

So, does Batman look scaaaa-aaaared or not?? hoohoo movie trailer humor

It's A-Me, Martucci said...

Name that movie quote!...

"Yea I know. I got lil' faggot hands. So what?"

grimm84 said...

The only thing I can think of when someone mentions Lady Gaga anymore is Nick Swardson as Gary Gaga breaking his swan hat.

Hi-larious.

Buddy said...

Yea Gaga is great, but what about Doug Hutchison and Courtney Stodden? Jesuschrist its been a fuckin week, blogger extraordinaire. My balls are itchin for some of that sweet BSC commentary

Bury my Latina stink-hole at Wounded Knee said...

(Proud hick father spreads gaping asshole of a black escort for his nervous, bumbling son somewhere in Louisiana, 1976)

"Black hoooooole, son. Wontcha' cum? WooOoo-ooooooontha cuuuuuuuuum?"

Drunken Acorn said...

Come on everyone know Gaga is just Skiba in drag.

Bury my Latina stink-hole at Wounded Knee said...

oOo amy! ooo shit gurl!