Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Thanks!

Dogs of war! In my times of need, I’ve asked of you and you’ve provided for me and I’ve always been very thankful for your responses, whether it’s been a high ranking official at BOA getting me my bank records or a lowly street urchin bringing or mailing me a hat while I’m on the east coast or all of you that have sent me clam shots over the past two years. You guys have always been good to me and in honor of thanksgiving, I’d like to take this time to posit that I’m more thankful for you, my faithful pack, than almost anything else in my life. True. Group hug.

Well, I’m desperately in need of your help once again. As some of you know, I’ve been in the process of making a movie for the past year and a half. It’s almost done but one thing that’s really missing is a shot that I need to get that features a woman’s naked cans. It’s really crucial and I don’t know what to do. My wife won’t do it, and her friends all feel like their tits are too old for the job (and apparently, no amount of convincing from me will sway them) so I’m turning to you. Are you a woman with tits? Are you in Chicago? Would you be willing to show said tits in a movie that I wrote and directed? Your face will not be in the film, just your cans…and you can be credited however you like. It’ll take about an hour of your time tops and I promise no one will try to fuck you or be creepy at all…It’s just imperative that we get some canisters in for this last shot and as of now, I don’t have anyone who’s into it.

SO if you’re someone who fits the bill (female, with tits, down to show em and in the Chicago area) please, PLEASE hit me up at the email addy that’s linked form this page and we’ll be in business. Thank you so much.

I’m thankful for all of you, but especially those of you with viewable jugs.

Oh, and uh, of course you've got to be at least 18. No creepy stuff, folks. Like I said.

xoxooo

53 comments:

sheila said...

i think you missed the boat in that candice was living in chicago for several months not all that long ago...

and for the sake of this evenings' theme, i am very much thankful for BSC!!!

Jesus said...

Candice was made for this role.

kakkahousu said...

That's a great excuse to check some tits out! fuck, why didn't i come to think about that sooner... glad it's never too late though

txemita! said...

Are you sure you don't wanna put some hairy male tits? You will have way more volunteers that way...

-tx!.

Jack said...

Pfft, there's no film is there? Still, if I could abuse my powers of blog god to view some sweet fangirl tits I totally would so don't blame you.

Sean said...

dude, if you wanna to see my moobs you just gotta ask.

Candice said...

sheila's right. you first made this request mere days after i left chicago. total bummer.

Shanna said...

I can help you.

jakegreen said...

Am I going to be able to buy this movie or is this a cock tease like the anniversary DVD?

Robb said...

This morning I revisited cody chesnuTT's 'headphone masterpiece' and that shit is so gooooood. Imagine what THAT guy would do with a 3 mil recording budget (MBDT fantasy's alleged budget). Mmm mmmm. Shanna here shows promise. Should probably just roll with that.

Robb said...

(actually HM is a pretty bloated record and some of it just sucks. But the highs are real high)

laurabm said...

Im afraid mine are too small and tattooed. You need a bountiful bosom like in a russ meyer film.

Candice said...

I'd like to see laura's tits.

laurabm said...

you'd be so disappointed, my dear. also, you could have made this request WHEN YOU WERE HERE!

Candice said...

i was too drunk the whole time i was there to even think to ask.

I'LL BE BACK IN JANUARY AND WE'RE GOING TIT FOR TAT!

laurabm said...

Probably balls deep, too.

Candice said...

of course.

Amanda said...

I feel like everyone has already seen my tits and Rob is very territorial about them. However, if your film is lacking a scene in which someone pours a round of shots using her cleavage, I'm your girl.

sheila said...

i hate to be such a commercial whore but if anyone wants a BSC shirt, they're 15% off now til Monday...

http://www.redbubble.com/people/sleepysmile

stickers too! and you have the option of having the design printed on baby clothes, hoodies, long sleeves, etc.

!thriller! said...

Just... wtf.

Sean said...

- sheila

is it possible to get a BSC shirt on a shirt that was used for the original batch?

I have an original and the newer ones... and the newer ones are like neon yellow and the front design is really big...

I don't wanna be picky or anything... but I just really loved my original shirt before it got all destroyed by a friends grandma.

Just curious if it'd be possible to get it on that classic mustard-yellow organic american apparel shirt with the regular-sized design?

If so, i'd totally get a few of em for gifts...

Sean said...

On a side, any socks goin to the show tonight?

I'm leavin now to drive there... I hope I-90 isn't backed up coming from the NW suburbs....

It's A-me, Martucci said...

Almost makes dass antwurms seem decent:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gtfd69DfOak

I guess the worst thing about this guy, worse than the misconceived-as-edgy contacts even, is the unshakable notion that he feels he has something truly clever and fresh going. dass antwurms

It's A-me, Martucci said...

dass antwurms

sheila said...

Sean

Sorry i don't have anymore. The original screen may be out there somewhere though. I don't have it but maybe someday more will be made...also, i had no idea the BK's head was so big on the new shirts. i feel like a jackass and now i really want to remedy that. nobody mentioned it before.

sooooooooooorrrrryyyy

Sean said...

sheila -

haha, no it's totally cool, no worries.

I don't think anyone would even notice if they don't have both...

im just a weird case where my original was destroyed and i got a replacement (cuz theyre fucking sickkkk)

but yea... they're still awesome, regardless.

Sean said...

Highlight of tonight's show:

"You think you having to pay for this is bad? It's costing me 250 dollars to play here tonight. I actually got a discount for saying that nice thing about Matt just now, i mean... it would have been 400 dollars! Before the show I went to see him and I entered the room he was in filled with baby giraffes and he was in there, sitting on a throne of abortions... and he said I could play if I pay $250.... and before I could go he made me eat a... lizard. And it was weird, after I ate the lizard he didn't even do anything... he just said I could go now."

laurabm said...

So no one else is going to mention it? How do skiba's lips taste? Please say taint and broken dreams.

It's A-me, Martucci said...

'Ms BM' - that skiba swipe was sufficiently humorous so as to provide momentary reprieve from the ghastly imagery of painful, dehydrated bowel movements that your username evokes without fail. taaanks Ms BM (*plooooosh~!)

Sean said...

i was gunna mention it, but I prefer comedy over romance...

Sean said...

... I don't think I fully understand laura's comment...

laurabm said...

sean- i was referring to the kiss they shared on stage. You caught that, right?

Hamilton Martin said...

'taint & broken dreams' - HAH! I literally rolled on the floor laughing.

Matt Skiba said...

Ohh shut the fuck up Laura. I'll never fuck you.

sheila said...

matt skiba would you have a go at me? ;)

please.

j/k

Matt Skiba said...

Sheila - I'll fuck anything that walks, to quote Frank Booth. Did I just contradict myself? Is that dramatic irony? I often long to live in an ice castle.

sheila said...

i was joking fer reals. i'd be more interested in doing a rail or two of blow off your dong than anything else...what are your thoughts on that?...

jackson said...

Damn all of you chi-towners, if my boss ever lets me come up therre you better hold nothing back, elsewise i may be the one one to start the great 2011 chicago fire, just kidding fire smoke feaks me out after i accidentally burned down my domicile, wanna go up and see the action though, so try not to turb lame like me. Heart jackson

Matt Skiba said...

I'll let snort rails off my dong anything that walks, Sheila. I think there'd be less war if people would just, go to the circus more often. Support your local circuses people.

Toto said...

hearing the intro of "hey what time is pensacola " at the end of nebraska made my day.too bad it's just the intro. RELEASE THAT DVD ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Matt Skiba said...

Folks, folks! It's been brought to my attention by an associate that SKiba would in fact be blatantly anti-circus, in keeping with the whole pita thing. Though clearly the crux of the 'circus' and 'ice castle' remarks was to lovingly frame Skiba as an airheaded manchild prone to naive, quasi-retarded convictions--said observation does indeed hold weight. Still I don't see what being a staunch supporter of pita bread has to do with opposition to circus acts bu-- !! oh cmon it's not as if anyone here could do any better

laurabm said...

Shucks 'matt'. What if I'm on my period? We can do the ol' chicago favorite-switching from the red to the brown line.

Matt Skiba said...

Why Laura, with that superb utilization of public transit-as-bodily-orifice-euphamism, I think I'm starting to warm to you dear.

Owner Operator said...

i read this on punknews...
"Saw BK w/ Skibz last night, I'll have the vids posted tonight. He was his usual hilarious, drunken self & I bought a t shirt that says "Brendan Kelly isn't someone to be fuckin with.""

you're doing merch now? start a merch store, cant be that hard tos ell a few tshirts to hte people that already worship you!

Sean said...

laura -

yea, i saw the kiss.... it was pretty rad



- owneroperator

yo, i read that comment too.... but i was there and didn't see any shirts... i totally would've snagged me one (seeing as i'm not too proud to admit my admiration)

seems like a pretty ridiculously ill shirt

Candice said...

the shirt is pretty rad.

Sean said...

candice... wanna upload a pic of the shirt? i wanna see what i'm missing out onnnnn

crazycarl said...

How do I get onea those shirts??? Also, Candace looks like she has some nice canisters... just sayin.

Kevin Burnett said...

Candice, did you remember to ask BK about the Asian Man festival/show/awesome-ocalypse?

Candice said...

Nah, I forgot. Or I might have asked and forgotten both asking the question and getting an answer.

Candice said...

according to asian man records, brendan is in for the anniversary show. hopefully that means lawrence arms are.

Candice said...

and here's the shirt, sean:

http://s13.photobucket.com/albums/a282/candice11/2010/

Kevin said...

Just a little, uh, motorboating, there, huh 't?

'ts...