Wednesday, October 19, 2011

TL;DR

“The terrorists hate our freedom” is a phrase that’s bandied about pretty casually these days. For people with one kind of ideology, it’s a reminder that we’ve got it pretty good, and some people who don’t have it so good really don’t like that, and through no fault of our own, mind you(!), our way of life, one blessed with opulence, choices, and the ability to act how we want when we want even if it’s not completely appropriate at all times (god bless America), has created a tension between us and some of the world (the parts with less freedom, god bless ‘em) and they hate us. Not because we’re dicks, but because those people, those spoil sports, are jealous of the freedom we enjoy.

To another group of ideologues, “the terrorists hate our freedom” is something that idiots say to avoid looking in the mirror and recognizing that many complex issues are on the table when it comes to a global economy and people on the bottom are gonna tend to be pissed at the people on the top. People who have it easy as a result of other people having it bad tend to not be the favorites of those who have it bad.

In an America that’s really not too old, we (white people [high five!]) owned slaves. I wasn’t around for any of that, but I have been privy to some of the aftermath and it seems like “the slaves hate our freedom” could very well have been a slogan. What I mean is, there’s still obviously a little racial tension here and there lingering in this country, right? There are (get this!) black people who have grown up in generations, legacies of poverty ever since the days of emancipation where they walked away from their former masters free, penniless, uneducated, without any direction, home or understanding of what was going on, all while being obviously black, into a world that didn’t want to help them get jobs, educate them or do anything but sit around and stew because suddenly everyone needed to PAY for the work once done by slaves. (In fact, it could be said by ex slaves that “those ex-slaveowners hate our freedom” and it would probably be the most accurate application of this type of maxim in the history of language). And it seems like there are still white people out there who are terrified of black people, who fetishize them, who think they’re dumb or inferior or any number of things that dominant cultures tend to think about subjugated ones. Cuh-razy. You gotta imagine this all started with the slave thing, right? Because before that…well, I don’t think that white guys and black guys really hung out at all.

My point here is that yes, slaves undoubtedly hated the ‘freedom’ of the white folks, but my guess is that they hated that freedom in a large part because they were the ones who were providing it at the expense of their own freedom. Anyone can say “man, the slaves hate our freedom” and it’s true, but it’s also shortsighted, shitty and really, really, really condescending, innit? The slaves hate our freedom! What a bunch of selfish slaves!

Now, I’m not likening Bin Laden to Frederick Douglass by any means, but I am saying that the notion of someone just blindly hating someone else’s freedom usually comes from a pretty rational place. Nobody just hates the freedom of someone without reason. If they did, then there would be a spate of people hating freedom in every single microcosmic community in the world. It’s not a thing. It doesn’t exist without a context that puts the hater in a position of subjugation, which, in turn, makes them feel bitter and shitty towards whoever they think is shitting on them.

I’m not saying this is always justified by any means, but man, if you live in (for example) an oppressive theocracy, you’ve got essentially two ideological choices (neither one of which are really relevant to the notion of hating someone far away):

1) be religious and not notice that your choices are being oppressed or
2) recognize that you’d like to do things that aren’t allowed and proceed to be scared shitless of what’s going on.

There’s no point where in either of those persepctives just randomly hating someone halfway around the world comes into play at all. In situation 1, you’re essentially a born again grandpa living in Texas (which is, let’s be honest, a bit of an oppressive theocracy with a scary tendency to kill people). You’ve got all the freedom you want because your idea of freedom is lock step with the freedoms provided by your state. You may look at ‘hollywood queers’ and find them to be gross, but it’s fairly abstract. You really don’t find a lot of born again Texas grandpas plotting to kill Brad Pitt (or even RuPaul). If anything, they impose the rules of their own community (which could be totally uncool, as in ‘no fags,’ ‘no coons’ type stuff) but that’s a local thing based in a pragmatism about a day to day lifestyle you (as a close minded dick) would like to maintain (still shitty! But not at all the same as the idea of hating “freedom” remotely). In 2, you’re terrified of your government (you’re the gay black guy in Texas from hypothetical situation 1, perhaps) and you’re not trying to do anything but avoid having your nose chopped off or your ass dragged behind a truck til you die. You probably don’t give two shits about anything except for the people who are persecuting you. Again, there’s no real hatred of freedom that’s coming into play there.

In fact, I can think of only one instance where people, from a distance, remotely, absolutely hate the freedom of someone despite the fact that it has no bearing on their lives. And that’s the case of my beloved (and increasingly disgusting) Lindsay Lohan. She does blow and blows off court appearances. Big fucking deal. Who cares? “I fucking care! If I did that, they’d lock my ass up!!!” Yeah, sure. But you don’t even WANT to do that shit (or maybe you do, but she’s not stopping you, and she’s certainly not making it harder for you to do it). It doesn’t apply to you. She has more freedom than you based on circumstances that, depending on your ideology are either because of her hard work, or because of the person that she was born as. Either way, you hate her freedom and she’s NEVER done anything to you. At least the US maintains a military base on holy lands and fucks with the notion of a Palestinian state. What the fuck did Lindsay’s coke habit ever do to you? So why are you so happy now that her probation’s revoked and she’s going to jail. There’s only one answer: You hate her freedom.

Now who’s the terorist?
Seriously though, her teeth are getting pretty disgusting.

44 comments:

Donnie said...

Not everyone in Texas fits this lovely description you like to paint of us.

Stop hating our freedom to kill people.

M.A. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
BEEXtrix Potter said...

Thx for that clarification Donnie. Up until that epiphanic revelation I suspect Brendan was totes convinced every last dork in Texas pridefully advocates/embraces the notion of oppressive theocracy. It's like when that one guy put his foot down, scolded and explained not every motorcycle enthusiast has a lil peenut weenis. He's thinking twice NOW! Ahahahahaha!

Donnie said...

Well I'm pretty sure he's bashed Texas on several occasions so.....

Jeremy Hollinger: Consummate Purfeshinal said...

Last night my gurlfriend made me a armpit pussy. A armpit pussy is where armpit is kept tight and you thrust into it sexually

BEEXtrix Potter said...

...So? I mean I suppose there's the possibility BK secretly harbors some sort of genuine Aspergers-y mental deficiency which has imbued him with the belief that literally every male motorcyclist has a micropenis and that every Texan is a hate-mongering, cousin-fucking bloodthirsty hick, and that your reproach is thus entirely justified, but somehow the other possibility (that your 'scolding' is rife with dweeby feigned outrage/intellectual dishonesty, on account you know this not to be the case) seems much more likely

BEEXtrix Potter said...

Y'know, ol' intellectual dishonesty. The same thing that allows you to pretend that your love for all things Disney as a grown ass man is somehow something more than an annoying ass gimmick/affectation, etc etc

dustyfloors said...

Her boobs are WAY more important than her teeth so...........

Autotwats/Decepticunts said...

Crazy Stoopid Love - crazy stupid movie hehe! Let's be reeeal honest; frog-faced Emma Stone is NOT the "hot", diamond-in-the-rough redhead that a sexual conquistador that looks like Ryan Gosling would be doggedly pursuing. That's retarded. Other issues (the usual cheesy coincidences/contrivances abound in this type of comedy, etc) but that's def at the forefront

Autotwats/Decepticunts said...

Also, Emma's asian friend was annoying on an almost supernatural level. And the aspiring/recently-inducted lawyer guy was (of course) portrayed as a total whitebread dork lacking any kind of charisma, spark, etc because I mean what other kind IS THERE AMIRIGHT!!?? CRAZYSTUPIDLOVE yall

Autotwats/Decepticunts said...

Isla Fisher; Alicia WITT; Kate Mara; The actress that played Pippi in that one late '80s Pippi Longstocking movie who's no longer acting; Amy Adams on a real good day; Sharon Lawrence; Rupert Grint - these are the redheads that rev the collective reb-blooded male engine. Not Emma Stone.

Autotwats/Decepticunts said...

^ Pippi - Tami Erin yall

Anne said...

So I'm reading this piece and thinking to myself "Wow, Brendan is being so diplomatic here. Shit am I in some alternate universe? Am I going to wake up and shit rainbows or something?" Then I got to Lindsey Lohan and the world started to make sense again. By the end of the comments I had returned to the real world, a world without rainbows or unicorns coming out my ass. Oh what a world, what a world. I love this feckin' blog.

MA said...

Go choke on some freedom fries you bunch of towel-using Commie-Nazis

Donnie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Donnie said...

I do not love all things Disney, just 1901-1966, it's not a gimmick.

jbody said...

I figure he's genuinely into disney (parents were or smthin) and in this era of rampant whimsical kitsch he prob figured since he's not that good looking or smart he oughta place all his brightly colored eggs in the ole disney basket.he's even got a lil hipster snobbery goin with the 1901-1966 thing but i betcha when he's chattin up a gurl who knows vaguely of his dinsey identity and she brings up how much she likes lion king he lets it ride

Donnie said...

I get accused of liking all thins Disney which isn't true so I clarify that it's 1901-1966 and I get called an ugly hipster.

1901-1966 is when Walt Disney was alive. It's like being a fan of any other topic.

Sorry my interests are not up to your standards.

jbody said...

No,it's a fine interest.I mean,it's obviously interesting.I guess you could say you are into all things (walt) disney then?but again "donniedisney" it's a bit more than an interest,it's kinda how you identify yourself,I think me n beexima scuttlefuck were just curious about that

jbody said...

donnie,body,faggot,faggot..............

Donnie said...

The Donnie Disney moniker was given to me by my friends a long time ago, so I just stuck with it.

Donnie said...

"donnie,body,faggot,faggot.............."

Huh?

jbody said...

was there a cartoon for the "ugly bug ball"?the song

Donnie said...

No. It's from a live action movie, summer magic. Written by the Sherman brothers.

jbody said...

god,the sock drawer is a piece of shit

jbody said...

ok,I get it,dead to me are kind of an orgcore faster pussy cat(gnr ideally).big,dumb,derivative,ostensibly sleazy,occasionally fun sort of deal.I dont buy this notion that they are an ever evolving art rock collective or whatev.i mean chicken has a fucking john mayer/maroon5guy half sleeve for shits sake.that says enough about his aesthetic muse.maybe that tatt is ironic and im missing stuff.anyway I begrudgingly enjoyed their new shit.Im sure it is quite difficult getting a good nights sleep on the street chicken.thanks for bringing that to my attention

Anne said...

Did anyone notice that MA called Americans Commie-Nazi's. I'm Irish, but married to an American and I'm offended. He mentioned freedom fries so he must be French. If you're French MA you guys are going to lose in the RWC to NZ. Let me know if you're French, really, I need to know. It's imperative that I know.

BEEXtrix Potter said...

Donnie - in reality I don't doubt your authenticity, that was more of just a shitty throwaway jab. The intended humor sort of stemming from the notion it's an easy cynical suspicion to have since we're in an era filled with all manner of poseurish affectations. "I'm a Smith-Corona typewriter and enthusiast!" etc etc
I mean sure, there's some folks that are, but also a lot of folks delving into that in a calculated attempt to wrangle out an 'interesting' identity for themselves

Anne - what's odd--and I can't be the only one that caught this--is MA had a much more thoughtful/legit comment (second below Donnie's) that he erased in favor of that turd

kant_hackit2001 said...

Can anyone tell me when The Lawrence Arms DVD will be released for sale? Summer's over y'all!

BEEXtrix Potter said...

^ oOoops! Did that kneejerk thing where you just absentmindedly presume a given stranger on a msg board is male.

Robb said...

Ok, uhh, Shout "Nature's Source" stain remover has THE exact appearance and consistency of jizz. Not even a debate yall. It's really quite remarkable. And a pleasant light citrus scent to boot. Not that overpowering orange chemical smell typical of citrus scented cleaning products. I'll be goddamned

Robb said...

I mean, we've all seen a lot of jizz-y things described as "just like jizz!" but this is the real deal folks

Anne said...

I saw a deleted comment Beetrix, but I assumed it was a more offensive insult and that he chickened out and brought it down a notch. Shit if you're going to insult someone go whole hog.

Anne said...

And Robb, thanks for the tip about
"Natures Scent" It may look like jizz, but the question remains, does it taste like jizz? I realize you don't know the answer to that question so I'll tell you what I'm gonna do. I'll go buy some, taste it and let you know.

MA said...

At no point did I have a thoughtful comment on this, it was a spelling mistake.

@Anne I'm generally of the opinion that Americans are not Commie-Nazis, I sort of assumed the freedom fries, towel-using and use of the term Commie-Nazis would give it away.

I'm not French, France is awesome though, they're all fiery and passionate about everything. I'm definitely looking forward to watching them get destroyed on Sunday though.

BEEXtrix Potter said...

A 'spelling mistake'? You mean where you wrote that you're 'A Muslim-American living in the U.S.' (or something to that effect) along with 2-3 short paragraphs detailing your take on the typical Muslim perspective on the U.S.? It was up for like half an hour. What a bizarre lie, weirdo

BEEXtrix Potter said...

I mean are there two 'MA's? Who gives a shit? Whatever

Anne said...

Thanks for clearing that up BEEtrix. I might have believed MA otherwise, so I'll say this. It pisses me off when people from other countries come to the States and take a shit all over her and her people. Someone in the States is signing your paycheck, giving you a save place to live and the possiblity of upward mobility and you act like an arsemonkey. Jesus Christ, we've got poverty in Ireland on an epic scale and the States welcomes my people. Okay I feel better. I'll shut up now.

M.A. said...

Actually, the deleted comment is mine, and I never post here and was unaware that there was already an 'MA' who posts here. My bad.

I deleted it, because, what the hell, it wasn't about cum or tits, so who really cares? My apologies.

MA said...

This all makes complete sense, whatever any of it is.

BEEXtrix Potter said...

Well I'll be a cat's whiskers! If I could beat the fucking shit out of both MA's and then feed them catfood in a 'ding-ding' fancy feast cup, that'd really be something. But seriously, up both your asses

MA said...

I'm glad you appended that with seriousness. The internet is serious business. Or freedom hating, or loving, I've lost count.

Autotwats/Decepticunts said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
BEEXtrix Potter said...

Hehee! It's almost as though the 'fancy feast' part conveyed the 'legitimacy' of the threat in no uncertain terms, or something. The sock drawer's a reeeal piece of shit, hehe