Friday, November 20, 2009

If you're too young to drive, click away now

I am old. I am as old as the hills and the trees and the wind whistling through the distended anuses of women with daddy issues from here to San Fernando to Prague. I’ve got an offspring. My offspring probably has offspring (he’s a good looking kid, after all) and as such, I’m out of touch. Now, I’m aware that the readership of BSC spans generations and I’m hardly the oldest among us, which is precisely why I feel comfortable turning you all onto something that frankly, most of you probably know about, being younger, cooler and more “in the know” than me. I’m talking about my favorite show, Madventures.
Have you seen this show? It’s two crazy dudes from Finland traversing the globe and doing absolutely crazy shit. I mean (adjusting tie nervously) they make the Wildboys look like mama’s boys! HEYOOOOO!!!!!!!! Anyway, it’s just these two guys, both with cameras, filming each other, no security, no producers with them, just the two of them and they get into shit like hanging out and shooting machine guns with coke dealers in the deadly slums of Rio, eating horse dicks in china, doing DMT in the Amazon Rainforest, riding along in the backseat of a car doing illegal Tokyo drift drag racing down a mountainside, doing illegal bungee jumping off the roof of an abandoned St. Petersburg Communist tenement, hanging out INSIDE Chernobyl! The shit is absolutely crazy and it’s hands down the best show about travel on television and probably the best show on tv, period. The guys are named Tunna and Riko for fucks sake. Can’t beat that. Anyway, you gotta watch the show. It’s awesome. I can’t recommend it highly enough. Now, I know, I know. You’ve all already watched it and made your decisions. Didn’t I already tell you I was old and out of the fucking loop? Fucking A. You people are monsters. There. I said it. Absolute monsters.
What else? Nothing really. This entry is gonna be short today because, like yesterday, I need to take these precious moments before work to work on my new song. Um…nothing else to say, really. Have a nice weekend and be careful. There’s lots of perverts out there. Oh, and remind me to tell you what a dickhole my boss is. He's such a dickhole. no respect for other people's time. That's his problem. Well, that and he's a total pussy. Yup.
Tooodles!

30 comments:

Candice said...

i hope this new song practicing shit means you'll be playing some shows in the near future near me

Robb said...

Candice, I want to collab w/ you on an extravagant off-Broadway musical about your unwavering BK affections. I wanna get real fucking weird with it. I'll murder my well-off Uncle Howard and we'll use the inheritence $ to fund the project

Candice said...

robb- i'm totally in. but i will only do nudity if it is relevant to the part. or if brendan asks.

Jayzilla said...

friday posts me make happy!!

imma celebrate today with a bathtub sparks--yum

Capt Murdock said...

Jay I love your bathtub Sparks recipe! I plan on picking up the goods needed to make my own on my way home.

Thank you sir!

wilddanimal said...

That show sounds a lot like the Vice Guide to Travel, only cooler. That shit was hella disappointing. Not enough wrecking shit, too much "look at how fucked up some other parts of the world are and feel guilty, you rich American piece of shit". Goddamn smug Canadians.

dustyfloors said...

I've never heard of this show. Fuck. I'm old.

Bridgett said...

I've only heard of the show because they made fun of it on the Soup last week. What does that make me? I'm gonna go with a dick.

Scott said...

totally agree, madventures is one of the coolest things on tv. Did you see the japan episode? did you? you know you want to. If you haven't, i have 2 words for you "love Hotel"

now you want to.

Banana@1000MPH said...

I'm 19 and have never heard of that show (then again my parents are super old and we never had cable...so I only know about like South Park). Anyway, I swear those guys are friends with Wildboyz and those Jackasses. I think I saw them while watching cable in middle school at my friend's house on that Aye Carumba Bam! show about that Margarita guy living with his parents.

Robb said...

Sorry to disappoint Candice but I envisioned your role in all this as solely a creative one...it's going to be an all-male cast of young Chinese orphans; it's very Charles Dickens-cum-John Woo. Figured we'd just meet up behind that same Chuck-e-cheez and just snort some poppers and hammer this thing out hard and fast..err, five days tops.

Candice said...

ok robb, that actually works out better for me. i have absolutely no acting ability unless faking orgasms counts.

Robb said...

Oh we'll just have you do that at random at rehearsals, to toy with the orphans' heads...that and severing toes at random for missed lines/cues...we'll whittle their souls down to nothing

Sean said...

BK, have you ever heard of the band The Flatliners from Canada?

I think you might enjoy their FAT album The Great Awake, it reminds me of The Menzingers in many ways, and I know you love them...

anyways, any deets on this new song?

Stizzy said...

"hammer this thing out hard and fast" well if there's one thing candice is good at...

Candice said...

thank you for the kind words stizzy. can i add you as a reference on my resume?

Drew said...

I have never seen anything more crazy than the video they have on their website on the "aghori secret pujas" in Hindustan. Fucking hanging out with REAL cannibals... HOLY SHIT!

http://www.madventures.tv/en/videos_s3_ep08.php

Mikey said...

I'm sure he's heard the Flatliners.

That being said, FLATLINERS FUCK YEAH! Love that band. They were wicked last night too.

Mikey said...

I don't really see the Menzingers comparison though.

Sean said...

really, i totally see them on the same metaphorical tier of awesomeocity...

Gregory said...

man the motherfuckers in that aghori secret puja are INSANE.

Schizen said...

flatliners fucking kick arse.....

druuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunk

nancy said...

Why are the girls tattooed and bruised? Anyone?

Banana@1000MPH said...

nancy, it is cuz they're punx as fux.

Sean said...

Beex, I saw you almost get shot by Fat Mike's white powder in that Cokie the clown video...


... needless to say, you looked pissed haha

Lajoyce said...

I saw Sparks at a gas station in rural Wisconsin this weekend and I thought of the Bad Sandwich.

Banana@1000MPH said...

HOLY SHIT! Beex, while looking all over the interwebs for the new CYE, I went back to the juggalog - he totally wrote about you. This should help your readership greatly.

Even better was when I read this:

" mattsummers86 reblogged this from thejuggalog and added:
actually heard of the juggalog...sandwich chrons. Both are mildly entertaining."

Mark said...

Cokie the Clown video is excellent.

guitardude270 said...

Hey Brendan,
Any chance you could write a post about your days in Slapstick?

Jesus said...

Aren't those the guys from the Dudesons BK? If so, I got some catching up to do...