Monday, November 2, 2009

I'm a mofuckin cash money millionaire

Good morning. It’s Monday and I couldn’t be happier to be rapping at you turds and turdettes today. I’m currently jamming some Asia (heat of the moment) and drinking a little coffee. Last night I was trying to convince my friend Matt about the greatness of Lil’ Wayne and he (understandably) was having none of it. He said he didn’t ‘get it’ which I dig. That shit’s not for everyone. But it made me realize something and it sort of knocked my entire pompous sensibility on its ass.
See, I’m a dismissive prick when it comes to consumption, and there’s lots of things out there that I don’t get. AND, and this is the key point, I sort of feel smug and superior about not getting certain things. “Oh, you like Nirvana, eh…” I’ll think, “well, I guess I just don’t get it (and, frankly, that’s because secretly, it sucks and your taste is unrefined, lame, terrible etc.)” You’re familiar with this train of thought, no? Sure you are. It’s not just music either. What about your great uncle that cooks spam in the frying pan? What about your friend that watches Twilight? What about your buddy who collects stamps or obsessively watches NASCAR or whatever it is? It’s everywhere. Something in this popular consciousness has turned everyone into smug, superior cocksuckers. Everyone. Me included.
But last night, while I was listening to Lil’ Wayne and talking to Matt, I realized something huge, and I texted it to myself so I wouldn’t forget it. This is the text, verbatim:

“The superior perspective isn’t the one that doesn’t get it, but the one that does.”

Now, this is no dig on matt, nor is it some new way for me to feel superior to someone because they’ve pooh-poohed something I enjoy, (because let’s face facts, in much the same way that not liking something makes us feel superior, liking something that everyone laughs at you for liking is a bummer of a feeling). In fact, Matt’s a brilliant guy and he has every reason in the world to not legitimately like Lil Wayne and I’m not questioning that but I AM suggesting that he’s missing out by not liking it. Same with everyone who doesn’t like everything. This world is a shitstorm of sadness, decay, hatred, whimsical tragedy and ugliness. There are so few things out there that are enjoyable, the idea that NOT enjoying something is some sort of claim to superiority is just fucking foolish. It’s sort of like when I realized how ass backwards the morality of the Puritans was. Suddenly up is down, good is bad, cats and dogs are living together, man. This shit’s the same. All these smug hipster dipshits (of which I am, unfortunately, one) that are too cool for school who condescend to us because we enjoy J Lo or Nickelback or Monday Night Football or Taco Bell or (god forbid!) something that’s on television, they’re the ones who can’t make the jump to see the good in something and thereby enjoy it. They’re the ones lacking the ability to process consumption into enjoyment, they’re the ones who will never know the visceral emotion that (for example) rushes into me when I’m listening to Lil’ Wayne really loudly. And that’s not better. That’s worse. There’s NOTHING cool about not being able to enjoy something. Nothing at all.
Now, this isn’t to say that people aren’t allowed to dislike something, or that they’re stupid for not liking it. To go back to my original situation, Matt doesn’t like Lil’ Wayne. I’m not suggesting he’s dumber than me, or that his intellect is dimmer or that I’m better than him or anything like that. That would be stupid. I AM suggesting that he’s the one missing out by not liking it, and that makes his existence that much less enjoyable. Sure, it’s infinitesimal, but it’s the kind of thing that adds up if it runs rampant all over every facet of your life. I don’t know, man. It’s strange. There’s no reason that the idea that enjoying something is better than not enjoying it should be a statement that even needs to be made, but that’s how fucking stupid and twisted our times are, folks. I’m revolted by all of us.
Oh, and obviously this isn’t the kind of thing that holds true in extreme circumstances. Like, for example, kid porn or torture or Skrewdriver records or whatever. There’s lots of fucked up shit out there that’s a product of hate and evil and that shit’s obviously antithetical to what I’m talking about, so gimme a fucking break you goddamn lawyers. Jesus. Try to bring a little perspective out and all anyone wants to do is talk semantics.
Fucking vultures. Forget I said anything.

27 comments:

wilddanimal said...

*applause* Seriously, that was just what I needed to read on a Monday morning when I don't really want to go to school.

nodurhead2thiss said...

couldnt agree with ya more. personally i am a huge fan of jam bands (phish, umphrey's, etc) which i've read you dismiss in the past on BSC. my friends always make comments on how i listen to garbage music, etc etc. but they simply cannoy understand how happy it makes me. i just tell them theyre missing out. its one thing to not understand something, but dont try and tell me its garbage is the way i feel about it

Louis Stevens said...

What are you talking about? Skrewdriver is great.

Jesus said...

A big "What if..." sort of thing, but definately a neat train of thought.

Although even though you told me to forget it, I can't stop picturing some smiling rapist sitting in his cell with this EXACT post in mind. Disturbing.

Daniel said...

“The superior perspective isn’t the one that doesn’t get it, but the one that does.”

ive always felt superior for enjoying the underground punk rock

as for niggabeats, im still picky

for 'new school' i enjoy the likes of _SOME_ kanye, 50 cent before he stopped DISSIN in his song, lil wayne... cant stand akon and any of that auto tune shit, does that make me inferior? hahaha

Banana@1000MPH said...

Does Brokencyde fall into people are missing out by not enjoying it or child pornography?

droopypunk said...

while i understand your point and feel the same about a lot of things including television. whenever you mention Lil Wayne i start laughing, dunno why but i get that feeling that you are talking seriously about a thing that you "could" like but you don't really and just enjoy pushing it forward with this serious rhetoric... meh i may be wrong but my word verification is "flout" which kinda fits. maybe you should do a video of you talking about Lil Wayne

Andrew said...

you know how i know you're gay?

Matt said...

"Cats and dogs living together"

Sneaky little Ghostbusters reference, or I'm really stretching. Either way, I agree on this post in general.

admp said...

I'm confused.

I think this means I'm inferior for not liking sappy pop-punk.

I'm ok with the low ground on this one.

Word verification: idiliste
Idealist? Heh.

thesockdrawer.org

Candice's Breasts said...

"as for niggabeats, im still picky" - don't worry, no one's choosing you anyway, including this perky pair.

Sean said...

my friends all tell me I'm missing out by not listening to this band "The Lawrence Arms," but I just tell them that the bassist is just too damn sexy for me to focus on the music alone.

Am I missing out?

myassisapipebomb said...

admp=turd bag

the new 7" is really good though. can't stop listening to it. not one thing bad to say about it. just thought i'd say so.

Mark said...

Great post. I quite like Wayne.

How was everyones Halloween?

FranklinStein said...

have you ever read any of mykel board's stuff? i'm betting that you have, but sometimes you can never tell. anyway, if not, pick up "I, a Me-ist.

kylewagoner said...

I think you kinda blew my mind. However, when I was interviewing my gay aunt the other day for a class paper, we were like watching all these movies on gays and she was telling me about everything and then I got to telling her about Jeffree Star and then when she left, I listened to that song he did with Skiba and kind of thought like, "Hey, whatever this guy's into, good for him." Whereas before, I was just like, "What a fucking weirdo." And I'd said that with my friend Tim and he agreed and then I told him I was listening to that song and he was like, "I hate him" and I was all, "I think he's alright. He does what he likes." And yeah, I guess he's kind of the biggest Louis Vuitton and other fashion product ass-kisser on earth, but hey, I kiss a lot of random punk band ass and tend to be a lot more open to liking it just because of what it is, so who's wrong?

love,
Kyle

Mike Destruction said...

i think about stuff like this all the time

Mark said...

@Sean: Chris is clearly the sexiest member of TLA

Candice said...

mark- i beg to differ.

bombadepanico said...

I really feel the urge to comment on this cuz its a topic that crossed my mind the other time. I was at warped tour (yeah whatever) couting the small number of bands I was interested on seeing vs the great amount of crappy ones and I thought to myself, shit If I was an "AP kid" I'd be probably sad cuz I'd be missing so many bands. In the worst case scenario it was my loss. Now I've said it before and i'll say it again lil wayne fuckin sucks.

Bridgett said...

This kind of made my head hurt. Dammit, I go on the internet for dick and fart jokes, not Mr. Kelly waxing philosophical. But keep it up, that was brilliant. And I agree with whoever it was that said they can't stop listening to the 7 inch. It's five songs that I can never get sick of. I'm pretty sure I had a dream last night that involved a snow covered grave and what it said on it, and getting drunk at a wedding.

julian minutes said...

are you... turning into andrew wk?

Sean said...

Me + Candice > Mark


.... sorry mark, lol

Word Verification: dingles

.... you guys be the judge.

Mark said...

But..Chris..his smile is so intoxicating..

OH SCREW YOU ALL OFF

Daniel said...

"don't worry, no one's choosing you anyway, including this perky pair."

no ones laughing you shit idiot troll

fucking race horses

Zach said...

I'd rather masturbate with sandpaper than listen to Lil' Wayne or Nickleback. Both annoy me to hell and back. It's not that I am even much of a smug bastard, I just love hating on shit. Maybe that makes me a smug bastard. Maybe the rest or the world is a bunch of smug bastards and I am the only one holding it down. That is probably true.

Buddy said...

my muthafuckin leather is so soft