Friday, March 11, 2011

I'm magical, y'all!!!!

Okay, I'm off to Austin. No time for the old in-out love. Sorry, just came by to read the meter. If you're drinking this weekend, don't drive and if you're driving, don't drink, but if you live in or are staying in Austin, email me a picture of your hotel room and I'll make a decision about whether or not it's nice enough to grace with my presence...Seriously, I'm sleeping on the streets, people.
Wish me luck, assholes!

24 comments:

BEEXtrix Potter said...
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BEEXtrix Potter said...
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BEEXtrix Potter said...

@ that Caleb guy (few days late)
Mmmm. My handle is 'Beextrix Potter' and my avatar consists of Beex's visage crudely superimposed on to the pear-body of children's author Beatrix Potter. Now whatever would give you the idea that I'm a "niche" actor?

(really gay-ass meddling British busybody voice): Good luck at the races, Brendan!

BEEXtrix Potter said...

Btw Any of you guys ever go in to take a shit in the morning or maybe the middle of the night and you've got a lil' semi-erection or maybe even a full one like from a sex dream and as you get up off the toilet accidentally lightly scrape the tipsy-tip of your goomba (penis head) against the front underside of the toilet bowl and then spend the next several days sweating and fretting that maybe you've contracted some sort of weird shit-ass shin infection because of it? But then everything's ok? As a middle-aged Brit hermie with the head of Beex I don't have this problem but was wondering if some of yall maybe did.

BEEXtrix Potter said...

"shin infection" haha THAT'S a belly full o' beans! A typo of course, I meant "skin infection"!

Jayzilla said...

i work for a restaurant -

last night a single diner (a person that eats by them self) eats, pays and leaves..

as he leaves, he looks at our hostess as he puts his the room key of his hotel on counter and asks her to come back later..

she politely declines

he politely says "ill pay you a thousand dollars"

she assertively refuses.

true story -- but what i want to know -- whats this guys success rate?

Nico said...

heh nice clockwork orange reference.

Sean said...

sooooo the hostess was hot?

gogowhitesox5905 said...

ill be down there tuesday- saturday
motel 6 about 5 miles north of downtown.

Sean said...
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Sean said...

So last night on the bus there was some college kid talking to a group of 3 girls. He introduced himself and then made some comment about the arboretum that we were driving past, saying something along the lines of "walk through the arboretum? yea... maybe if you want to get RAPED!" and then proceeded to go into incredible detail, involving ropes, strangling, and hot wax. He then attempted to salvage this weird and creepy comment into an unsettling pickup line, turning towards the blonde girl sitting nearest to him and saying slightly quieter "i hear blondes LOVE to walk in the arboretum..." to which the blonde girl shifted uncomfortably in her seat, letting out a nervous laugh. The guy didn't get the hint, and continued: "yea, i mean iiiiii wouldn't walk through there... some blonde will come up to me... tie me up to a tree, or like, to her bedpost or something, and pour hot wax on my body... i mean... *looks around smiling creepily* who would like THAT?!" The girl and her friends looked nervously at eachother and the blonde made eye contact with me, to which we both started laughing (i mean, i had been laughing to myself the whole time at this terrible, desperate attempt at a pickup line pre...tty much since the kid first opened his mouth). At the next stop the 3 girls stood up to get off and the kid says how nice it was to meet them (while only staring at the blonde). They quickly made towards the door as he calls after them in an almost angry/offended voice "... goodnight!"

Needless to say, rapist in the making? I think so. Some people are fuuuuucked up.

Sean said...

I wanted to show him this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4hNaFkbZYU&feature=fvwrel

BEEXtrix Potter said...

This goes out to Seeeeeean
and all my RESPECTFUL sperm-sprayaz.
you look great 2nite. A real 'pussy crusha'.
Stand proud, cuz you the better man, the man who doesn't make a bitch squirm in her bus seat.
But some thugs NEVER learn!....

...Tss tss tss tss tss tss here's whatcha say whatcha say (x4)

SHIT. PUNK. Leave them girls alooo-oooone(x4)

See these girls are dressed up for a nite on the town/not to feel "pussy panic" from some fratty-fop clown!/These gals convened to giggle and to chat about tampax/Not to feel vaguely threatened by allusions to hot wax!

SHIT. PUNK. Just leave em alone, I said leeeeave those giiiirls alooOooone~ (X17)

It's A-Me, Martucci said...

Urr fat mike tweeted about "havin drinks with BK AND Ben Weasel at sxsw". So is this whole 'feud' a ruse, you know, like, hip hop feuds?

It's A-Me, Martucci said...

...And then there's the deliberately vague woo-hoo on your part circa today. So are you gonna be on IMDB n shit now? Are people gonna start referring to you in the same breatrh as Cassavetes n shit?

Sean said...

Hahaha ohhhhh if only u were there martucci.... altho they might be too threatened by ur beard.... i mean, what?

Oh and i also noticed mikey b's tweet..... i cant tell if the tivalries a joke or not.... that or mikeys tweet was a joke.... perhaps both?

Sean said...

And by tivalries i mean rivalries...

Sean said...
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It's A-Me, Martucci said...

Yeah I'm subscribing to the joke tweet theory till I hear otherwise.

On an unrelated note havent listened to it yet but I'm lookin at the liners for This Is Only A Test and see "Drum programming on Excuse Me Coach by.." I dunno, drum machines on a Popes song? Little scared.

It's A-Me, Martucci said...

Mmm actually the "joke rivalry" theory is just as valid to me. Or more likely, what maybe began as a genuine rivalry but then blossomed into sweet sweet friendship, or maybe more of a jack cates/reggie hammond-ish marginal, dysfunctional love-hate, "talk shit about ya when you leave the room and only be half-kidding, just as soon punch ya in the face than have a drink with ya" kinda friendship

Jorge said...

I think this whole Little Big Man feud-thingy is hilarious. It reminds me of early 90's diss rap tracks like The Bridge is Over.

I'd love to see a track replete with 20 dollar words that continues in the fine tradition of beef raps. Just don't go shooting Tupac or anything.

BEEXtrix Potter said...

beeeeeeeeex

Sean said...

This was just brought to my attention:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CD2LRROpph0&feature=player_embedded


You be the judge.

Sean said...

wow. i love that video beextrix posted.

just. wow.