Thursday, November 6, 2008

I think about it every night and day

Oh yeah. Back to the grind. It’s been a long time since I worked, and it’s been great, but that all ends today. Fuck. Okay, so here’s what I’m most looking forward to: These smug dipshits who, for the last year have been sitting on the other side of my bar crying to me about how America is too stupid to ever see that the less conservative, slightly more tan/less dead looking candidate was the better choice. I would always respond with “that’s bullshit. That’s elitism and defeatism” and these guys would get even more smug and grin and say “we’ll see. I know this country, man.” This is the point where I would tell them that I did too, and, in fact, I’ve regularly traveled all over this thing for the past fifteen years. AND I’ve talked a lot of politics and registered a lot of kids to vote. Then they just would get all pitying, and look at me like a dumb dreamer, like the way a jaded hockey coach looks at a kid who talks about how it’s gonna be when he’s on the Blues or something.
Well, I can fucking PROMISE you that these same dipshits (I’m thinking of three specific guys and I’m guessing a few randoms) will be in there today talking about how “we did it, man!” and just glowering down their noses at the pathetic Republicans. And, it would cost me my tips and perhaps even my job to say “You didn’t do shit but try to discourage people on your own side and decry the ability of your country to make a simple choice. Now, you’re acting like your shit doesn’t stink just because the ‘dummies’ came around for you? Guess what? THAT’S the elitist liberal attitude that pisses people off in the first place, you fucking retard. It’s not that someone is articulate or intelligent, it’s the smug dicks who cry that everyone’s a mongo and then laugh at everyone else when shit just happens to turn around. That’s the attitude that got Bush elected the second time. Oh, and John Kerry was an ineffectual douche who couldn’t inspire a horny diahrettic baboon to fling shit at a potential mate. I mean, that’s a factor.
OKAY, so I’m not saying it was wrong to be depressed after that election or the one before it. Fuck, I was. I remember after the 2000 election I wrote a piece for punkvoter.com that essentially called the whole of America a bunch of retards. I understand that frustration. HOWEVER, that’s in the face of results, not potential. There’s a big difference between being disappointed when something fails, and never believing it can succeed. Just throwing that out there.
So, awesome. I have to be a bartender again. My baby is not adjusting well to daylight savings, or more to the point, he’s not adjusting at all. He just took that six thirty wake up time and made it five thirty using nothing but consistency. He’s like Mao when he made all the clocks in China run the same, sun position be damned. Result? Fuck. So tired. Last night was my class and it was pretty funny. There are some real fucking dorks up in that piece. AND, in what’s become a rather pleasant surprise, there are some really funny people as well. My skit was about a know-it-all drug counselor. I guess it’s like getting kicked in the balls. It doesn’t look funny just written down, but believe me, it’s hilarious.
I’ve been eating like a champ ever since super Tuesday. Is it super Tuesday or is that something else? Who cares? I’ve had a cheese steak, wings, pizza, cheese and crackers, a bacon cheeseburger, mac and cheese and some combos (cheddar cheese pretzel). My guts are rotten right now. I think I need some broccoli or something.
There was a question I was gonna answer…Hmmmm. I don’t know. Forget it. Oh, you know what? What’s fucking wrong with people in California? You’d think out there where it’s like, on the state charter that you have to be, or at least dress gay to truly live there that they’d be a little less insensitive to a basic human rights issue, right? I guess all those frosted tips and tank tops are just to get the panties off, huh? Huh. It’s a bummer, because it kind of taints (cobras) a great election AND it really sets back the cause. AND if shit like that can go down in California, what does that say about the two dudes blowing each other in Oklahoma City’s chances of ever getting a marriage license? Well, it’s not good anyway. So, gay dudes in OKC, if you’re listening, maybe just move. I am positive you’ll be happier somewhere that doesn’t have dumb congresswomen getting standing ovations for comparing you to the devil. Fuck. One step forward, one step back.
I take it back, we’re doomed.
Nah, it’s a joke you spineless turds! Don’t you see how demoralizing that shit is, though? I got into punk rock because I really loved the way that the message in my favorite songs was always a “fuck everyone, I’m gonna do this or I’m gonna do my best and I’m not gonna quit, and fuck you if you don’t like it, and fuck you if you’re against me, but if you’re with me, then I’m with you” kind of vibe. And that’s still in the songs. But where is that attitude in practice? I mean, that’s hardly exclusive to punk rock, (take R Kelly’s smooth jam “I believe I can fly” if you need an example) but you never really see that attitude out there. Maybe you do, but there’s so much negativity and depression too. That’s fine when everything is great. It’s great to be disenfranchised and looking for ways to detail life when things are good. But when everything’s fucked? You gotta believe, man. That’s why those stories of dusty little kids playing music with dog bones and tin cans and shit in some village with no drinking water are so inspiring. That’s why people like George Carlin are so inspiring. Look around. If you’re on point with the general mood, you’re not trying hard enough. Be bummed if you must, but be hopeful.
Fuck man, I should be a motivational speaker. I’ll bring out my wife and my books on tape and you all can pay $250 to come see me run back and forth and scream shrill easy answers in chant form at you. I’ll have an affable smile and a suit that’s nice without being intimidating. My wife (I’ll have to trade the current one in) must be blonde with huge cans and a revealing tight dress. She is the human embodiment of me achieving everything that America has promised I can achieve. I’ll be athletic without being beefy and I’ll listen to you when you tell me about your job, then I’ll smile, clap you on the back, recite the one of about twenty five canned comments that most closely applies to your situation and move on. I’ll have stock in Coca Cola and Exxon, but I’ll tell you what really made me rich…my relationships with other people.
That’s motivation, right? Or I could be one of those fat slobs like the dude from “according to Jim” who bangs the hot chick against all odds. Actually, that seems a lot easier. I’m gonna go with that.

14 comments:

Candice said...

i was looking forward to your comments on keith olbermann and fuckhead rove. but this was good too.

Capt Murdock said...

Well daylight savings has changed my baby's schedule from 11:30 - 7:30 to 10:30-6:30. Big win for me!Although it hasn't relly helped with him puking on my dog. I'll keep you posted though.

A l e x said...

I was just watching some Sarah Palin clip on Youtube and Bill O'Reilly called the mention of Todd Palin getting 20,000 worth of clothing "nit-picking." Twenty thousand dollars. Nit-picking.

Jesus shit I am so angry. It's nice that my man O-b got elected and all, but fuck American television in its tight, homophobic, insanely conservative asshole.

Also: What the fuck, California? What the fucking fuck? I am not impressed. Just... wow.

Andrew said...

yeah fuck man. Jim belushi banging a chick like that? That's why tv is so fake. It's like the show king of queens. That guy's wife is super hot and he's ugly as shit. Does that really happen? Is there hope for us common men?

P.S. That blues comment hurt a little, dude. We're working our way (back?) to the top.

Sam Tie Blogger said...

You really cant complain about California voting yes on Proposition 8 when you voted for a President that is anti gay marriage as well It doesnt make sense!

Adam said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Andrew said...

As a Californian, I can tell you, I spent about an hour of Tuesday being really excited about Obama and stoked on his speech, then I spent the rest of the night being super pissed off that my state had let me down. I really thought that Prop 8 was a no-brainer, that we would easily defeat it. CA voted to give more rights to animals (which I also supported) and less to humans. Fuck. And Prop 4 (requiring parental notification for minors seeking abortions) came way too close to passing. Shit is complicated, people. Deal with it. Leave other people the fuck alone; don't take shit from them for no good reason. On behalf of my state, I apologize for not setting a better example.

c. brennan said...

sam: while Obama isn't a proponent of gay marriage on a national level, he did lend his explicit support to the No on 8 campaign in CA (along w/ nearly all of the state's political hard-hitters) and I don't believe he would try to amend any state or federal constitution with the sole purpose of including an anti-gay marriage clause. At least I didn't find voting yes for Obama and no on 8 grounds for a moral dilemma. Of course, two-party democracy is a bit of a sham and it's a shame that gays had no real choice for a gang-busting White house advocate, but Obama will hardly try to limit the rights they already have.

Count another pissed-off Californian.

SauliosBJ123 said...

andrew: As far as the ugly guy/hot chick combo...I've never seen it, but I saw Seth Rogen on one of them talkshows last week and they brought that up about how everyone says its so fake that he always gets the hot chick in the movie and Seth said that is how it has always been with him, his girlfriends are always way out of his league...so maybe he is just a lying asshole... or maybe if you will be extremely famous extremely fast in the future, you can have a hot girlfriend.

flocksea said...

everytime i see BSC i think babysitter's club.

James said...

I too felt disgusted in my state (CA) that we couldn't garner the necesary votes to defeat prop 8. I knew there was a strong coalition against it, I knew the Mormon's and friends dumped a whole lot of money into it, But i honestly didn't think that there was that much homophobia present within the people of this state to let this horrible proposition pass.

It's incredibly disheartening to see that so many people would think that their cobraed (tainted) view of morality means more than someone else's right to be married to a memeber of the same sex.

Sam Tie Blogger said...

C.brennan: I certainly agree, I dont think he will do anything to limit the rights of homosexuals, but he also isnt going to do anything to advance them. Hes not McCain, but hes a still a christian with somewhat typical christian viewpoints.

Change is coming, just not for everyone....

Some Young Guy said...

sally kern is fucking hot though.

you never answered my advice inquiry about that beeotch i live with.

Candice said...

girls fucking hate the taste if they kiss you. unless you are brendan kelly. then anything goes. you're not brendan kelly. stop fucking smoking.