Sunday, May 16, 2010

hey hey, yeah. sorry...I hear you...jesus.

Hey assholes,
Sorry I've been away. had a kid. It was nuts. Someday I'll tell you all about it, but let's just for now suffice it to say that she's (the baby, that is) got all the fingers and toes and faces and butts and shit that she needs. No more, no less. she's real cool and my wife is also real cool. Oh, and they're both still alive. So that's good.
I'm tired. I don't really have the energy to wow y'all with new exciting words for jizz (frosted pee) or dicks (uh...balls flap?) so let's not even go there, eh? Let's not ask what I can do for you, kay? Let's see what you all can do for me. How's that? Have I ever asked anything from you, Dogs of War? Have I? Besides going to my shows and constantly showering me with attention and praise? No. didn't think so.
So here's my thing:
Wikipedia.
As some of you may know, I've got a wikipedia page. It's been there for a while. I actually learned about the existence of wikipedia because someone directed me to my page a few years ago. I've had a few of you email me and ask me if I did the page myself. the answer is no. I actually don't even know how to post something on wikipedia, nor do I know how to edit something that's already there. Now, I'm sure it's easy and it's as simple as paying a little attention at the homepage or whatever, but I'm not interested in doing that. Once I know that type of shit, I'm just some dork that plays around on wikipedia and well...come on. Who wants to be that? Eh? eh? eh? That's right. nobody. It's pathetic, frankly.

HOWEVER!!!!! You! You there! You already are. I mean, some of you poor fucks already are, right? Right. So why waste that?


Glad we agree. Anyway, I noticed while sitting around in the hospital waiting for shit to happen that there's no wikipedia page for BSC. that's kind of sad. I mean, we're a big deal, aren't we? We have several different sects of followers, from dogs of war to socks to the splinter sock drawer and on and on. We've got shirts (oh, sheila, go ahead and print more shirts. Sorry for the lack of response to your email. I was having a baby and getting audited) and uh...i dunno. There's at least two websites that are at least partly influenced or inspired by this one here, so let's take what's ours, folks! Get out there and make us a wikipedia page!

Also, while we're talking wikipedia, the page on felching mentions lots of people that have done their part to popularize the practice, but again, I'm a glaring omission. Whichever one of you jokesters added "dong huffer" to my name on the page about me now can do something that's actually creative/funny and add me (and this blog, dummy) to the section on the 'felching' page devoted to those who spread the word, and swallow the sweet juice from within the word. Eh? eh?
Jesus. I'm so tired.................................
I'm fucking out of here/it.
Bye.

30 comments:

Blake said...

If nobody makes that wiki tonight, I'll do it tomorrow.

Jesus said...

Congrats dude! Way to be a dad!

Hitler said...

Felch is done

Luke said...

Congratulations

Owner Operator said...

1. congrats
2. "at least two websites that are at least partly influenced or inspired by this one here" what are they? just so i can shower them with praise also.
3.standard come to australia comment

tx!: anger.sucks@gmail.com said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
tx!: anger.sucks@gmail.com said...

Add another blog to that "websites influenced or inspired by this one" list, Bren... after months of reading bsc, i decided to start my own, including comic strips of a japanese guy practicing anal sex with hedgehogs (yes, you are a great inspiration)
Oh, if you understand spanish and wanna check: www.erotismoentreespecies.blogspot.com

Have fun with the new baby...

-tx!.

Christian said...

well....congratz on the kid i guess....now gogo get a job so u can take some days off and come to germany

sheila said...

Congrats on the birth of your new little one!!!

And look at this:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bad_Sandwich_Chronicles_%28BSC%29

!!!

Candice said...

love the wiki page!

congrats again on the baby, brendan!

i will continue to shower you with attention and praise.

John F. said...

Congrats on the kid! Way to go dude.

Bummer about the wikipedia page being deleted. But yours has been updated to reflect this mighty blog. I need a life.

Jorge said...

Wikipedia is turning into a buncha dicks when it comes to articles that aren't of any "significance" according to their odd standards.

http://www.xkcd.com/739/

http://news.slashdot.org/story/10/05/13/183221/Wikipedia-Is-Not-Amused-By-Entry-For-xkcd-Coined-Word

Fun police. Srsly.

Moxie. said...

woot! congrats on the kid. I'm going to look at the wikipedia page so I stop missing the boat on other BSC pages... or something.

sheila said...

i didn't even write the word "blog" in the article, due to wikipedia's strict guidelines...and they STILL deleted it...sheesh...

dustyfloors said...

Congrats.

Heave said...

Congrats.

Added a side info box to the wiki, if someone has a good photo to add.

It really needs some work. Compared to many of Brendan's contemporaries his wiki entry is lacking. Where is the separate sections with a navigation menu?

Maximilian said...

congratulations on the kid!

and just to throw it out there, one of those awesome shirts sheila made even found it's way to germany.

and one dude of the splinter sock drawer goes round the world and takes a patch with that same picture with him.

Bridgett said...

Congrats on the kid--I am still available to nanny, you just gotta pay me enough to buy my meds.

Can we have a preview of what's to come Wednesday? Surprise guests? Cover songs?

disastermarch said...

congrats BK

Jennifer said...

Congratulations Brendo and family!

sheila said...

so the wiki douchebags delete the BSC article i wrote and then they add one sentence at the end of Brendan's page which says this: "Brendan has joined fellow punk rock singers Tom Gabel and Brian Fallon"...Get your shit together you fucking wikipedia morons...BK's blog preceded Fallon's by nearly 2 years!!!

can you tell i am unhappy?

also, the article i put up was just a starting point...it was kinda weak, but at least it was the start of something

Nick said...

Yeah, that's pretty lame of them Sheila.

However, whoever wrote this in the felching article made my fucking day:

"Felch" gained momentum once again in 2008 due to Brendan Kelly (musician) of The Lawrence Arms. Kelly frequently uses the term in his blog Bad Sandwich Chronicles. Kelly is considered by experts to be a felching virtuoso, having obtained the status of "Felchmaster."

Jimmy Collyer said...

hey wait a minute, I want a BSC shirt! And congrats BK.

sg1414 said...

i added the felching virtuoso bit... it seemed like the obvious thing to do

Sean said...

happy birthday to ur baby girl...

here's a video for her... except replace the name "Autumn" with her name (Bella? Thor?)

... you get the point.

[p.s. Totally stoked for the show Wed... can't wait!]

Sean said...

and by "here's a video" I mean this link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3rMHsE-Ngg

Owner Operator said...

are hte bsc shirts still the same colour and logo and all that? mine has a hole in it :(

sheila said...

They won't be the same color...but i will tell you that you will have more options with these ones...will post info when things are finalized!

Candice said...

sheila darling, i'd like to put in my request for bsc edible underwear in every style and color you have.

Owner Operator said...

awesomeness... you should get a million cool points sheila