Wednesday, May 19, 2010

paaaaarty!

Okay, okay. Hey there. I had to take the new baby to the doctor this morning, so sorry I’m late. Turns out she’s fine but she’s apparently shrunk 3/4 of an inch since her birth. Huh. Nice one.

I’d like to thank everyone for their contributions to the surprisingly heated Forrest Gump debate. That’s good stuff, folks. That’s what the sock drawer is for, after all.

Sheesh. Today is our show. We’re playing at Subterranean to benefit those girls who got brutally beaten. I guess they’re both doing better. That’s good news, right? Sure it is.

I’m excited. I can’t wait to play. Lately my life has been nothing but hospitals and last minute c sections and irrational terror and IRS audits and diapers and late nights and job interviews and getting jerked around by various gatekeeper types, and man, I don’t mind telling you, it’s gonna be nice to get into a room full of friends and just kind of let shit roar a bit.

We’re gonna be doing a variation on the setlists that we were doing on our last UK tour, which was so great that we got invited to some real proper Brit orgies and we even convinced a real live Belfast anarchist to be seen in public with us.

So yeah. That’s that. Today’s also my audit. That’s less fun than the show. It’s funny. There are a lot of people in this world that would rather be audited than stand in front of a room full of people and sing and make up jokes. Today is strong evidence that I’m not one of those people. Which is good, I guess, because no one LIKES being audited, so if I hated being on stage MORE than being audited, well, this would be a really, really shitty day, wouldn’t it. As it stands, it’s gorgeous outside and I’m looking forward to this evening quite a bit. See y’all there.

So, this has been bothering me lately: the iphone…I think this thing is ruining my life. It’s made me eternally dissatisfied. Here’s what I mean: There was a time, not long ago, when shitting was an exercise in solitude, so was walking a few blocks to a bar, so was driving, so was sitting in the waiting room at the doctor or standing there waiting for your filet-o-fish. Hell, there was a time, again, not long ago, when the people you were with were the people you had to talk to. This could suck (I’m at the dumb county fair with my lame parents) or this could be awesome (I’m at this amazing place with this amazing person that may, if I play my cards right, bone me) but it was sort of a given. Here we are in a setting, so lets interact.

It’s not like that anymore at all.

Now I’m constantly on my phone either talking or texting or surfing the internet. This last one is the worst. I don’t have shit to do on the internet. I go to maybe, MAYBE six non vagina related websites and none of them are that important that I need to be wasting whoever is sitting across from me at dinner’s time by checking them. I don’t need to be driving and seeing who may have emailed me. I could probably stand to walk one block in the summer down a beautiful tree lined street and not be talking on the phone to someone who I’ve decided is gonna have just enough things to say to me to get me to wherever I need to be, but not so much that I end up standing around tying up the conversation once I get to wherever I’m going.

The thing is, talking on the phone sucks. So does surfing the internet on a phone. It’s not fun. It’s probably really fucking dangerous, actually. And yeah, driving and reading perez Hilton is dangerous, but I’m talking about just always having this thing by your face/balls/beavers shooting beams in and out. That shit’s bad for you no matter what anyone says. Cows that grow up under powerlines get tumors and die. This is the same fucking thing, man.

Oh, fine. Disagree. I’ll see you in hell and we can talk all about it there.

Nah, just plain old walking and looking around is better than talking on the phone, but this shit’s like an addiction. There’s no good reason to keep compulsively checking my mail or updating my browsers, especially at the expense of the real shit like enjoying a day or being in the park with my kid or hanging out with people I give a shit about. BUT, it’s gonna keep happening, innit? I’m gonna keep doing this shit, no matter how much I intellectually know it’s lame, no fun, counterproductive and dangerous. It’s like smoking or something. Sucks.
The end result is that when I’m not compulsively fiddling with my phone I feel disconnected and edgy and when I AM I feel like A) a dick B) I have no real reason to have this dumb phone and no real pressing things to look at on the internet or in my inboxes C) I’d rather be not looking at my phone…at the very least I’d rather be on my computer.
Really, really great. The only true moments of happiness come when I’m doing shit that makes me completely forget that my phone even exists, like boning or sleeping or playing a show.
Funny thing: I’m only doing one of those things tonight. Can’t wait. See y’all there!

Toodles.

43 comments:

HeLLaDaNTe said...

I agree with you on the phone thing, and I long for simpler times... I also long to be in Chicago tonight, but unfortunately that's not likely to happen.

I think the Beastie Boys said it best: "You gotta fight (DUN DUN) for your right..... to PAAAAAARTY!"

Sean said...

Me and my friends are currently devising the best way to get drunk before the show tonight...

So far we have:
A.) drinking on the Metra
B.) drinking on the El
C.) drinking in line outside

It should be sick. Also stoked to see Dead To Me, I hope ICP makes a miracle happen and DTM suddenly breaks into "Little Brother."

That shit right there, that shit right there would be "gross."

Scott said...

i am super stoked on tonight.

Mark said...

I'm stoked for tonight as well. Gonna be a good time.

I'm a delivery driver, so I drive constantly every day. I have a Blackberry and it's just so easy to check BSC every 5 minutes to see if you posted something. Ironic. Heh.

And I hate when my girlfriend and I are hanging out alone and all she does is text and text. -_-

Harley said...

I wish I could come out tonight. Michigan blows. I know what you're saying about the phones though. I still have never owned a cell phone. I think they're too expensive, and no one calls me anyway. All my friends have one though and it's annoying as fuck when I'm talking to them and they block me out when they get an incoming text or whatever. Especially when I'm in the middle of telling an awesome story like this one.

Donnie said...

my iphone is like an extra arm at this point...I love it and hate it.

dustyfloors said...

I refuse to purchase the data plan to surf the internet on my phone. I know I would feel exactly like this. I learned from my room mate. He always looks pained when he is constantly a slave to his Blackberry.
If he has an e-mail he's pissed he's gotta respond.
If he doesn't have an e-mail he keeps checking it every other 5 minutes to see if the e-mail has arrived yet.
Yikes.

See you gorgeous socks tonight.
I'll be wearing a HWM Chicago Reunion T-shirt. My girlfriend has a septum ring and wings tattooed on her back, because honestly you're going to check her out before you look at my shirt, right? Anyway, say hi and buy me a beer.

disastermarch said...

so jealous of all socks that get to go tonight, two of the best three pieces in punk on the same stage.

saw DTM in New Haven CT couple weeks ago with AM!, it only sucked because they only got to play for about 25 minutes (although AM! was sick as well). got too drunk and almost forgot to pay for a shirt at the merch stand, Nate (I think it was him) from DTM was laughing at me as I stumbled back to the stand, mumbled an apology and tried to figure out how to add the bills in my wallet to pay for the shirt. fun show

Dr. Karl Navore said...

i have a stupid question how do i email Brendan?

planespotting said...

I've got an extra ticket to the show at the SubT tonight. First person to post their e-mail address gets dibs.

Blake said...

Dr. Karl. Go to his profile and click the E-Mail button.

kennyg said...

I've got internet and all that nonsense on my blackberry, but I wouldn't say I'm a slave to it. I know there's a time and place for it (but I DO text and drive, so I guess that's no good).
And the internet comes in handy all the time, like when I'm on my lunch break and wanna read the BSC, or can't think of the name of something and have to google it. I've also got GPS on my phone, and that's saved me a lot of frustration.

patnazzaro said...

planespotting, drteeth666@hotmail.com

balls yo said...

Anyone else with an extra ticket or 2 email me at balls.yo111@gmail.com. I'm in chicago stayin in logan square so I'm just gonna stroll over and see if anyones sellin an extra ticket. If not, well, fuck, I guess I will just go pretend I'm not missing an awesome show. Thanks socks.

laurabm said...

drove past the sub today and saw the sold out sign. This sold out in maybe four days, right? So stoked its embarrassing. I will be there to represent the branch of arms and dead fans with velvet curtains and mammory glands. Word verification- hymencib. hmmm.

disastermarch said...

wait so the sub sold out? doesnt that make you, chris, neil, chicken, ian, and nate a bunch of fuckin mongoloid sellouts?

anyone who agrees with that statement is an idiot (see back to Tom Gabel "isnt punk anymore" hes still more punk than you).

word verification: immientl. almost a word.

kylewagoner said...

So this band from Chicago called The Please & Thank Yous came to our little town of Fort Ashby last night and saw mountains for the first time. They were stoked. They used phrases like "That rules," and "[Atmosphere] is weak." They also mentioned something called a snood, which they said was a "snail with a hood." That actually meant a little dick with a big ball sack or something like that. I can't remember it exactly, but it was one I hadn't heard before. They also are into DILK...which is dick milk...and their made up hardcore band name. So yeah, they loved it here in this hell hole they call beautiful. AND they left the house we stayed in with them last night in the middle of the night and got lost in the woods and mistook a stream for a river and someone's backyard for a stone quarry and we had to go looking for them. It was a lot of fun! You should come to our town next! We set up a hell of a show for a hick town in the middle of nowhere! You can ask them!

love,
Kyle

Sickie27 said...

I assumed the show went well and that you named your daughter Sickie.

Bridgett said...

@balls yo: I'm glad to hear you got in. Did you see tits?

Mr. Kelly: I could not understand a word you were saying from where I was standing, but the drunk dude and some guy named Eli (yeah, that Eli, I think) translated for me. I still got nothing, though.

I did manage to fuck up my car on the drive home to Milwaukee after the show, but the rest of my night was so great that I'm willing to let the broken car thing slide.

planespotting said...

I concur with Bridgett. But it was nice to chat with you for a few minutes. I'm sorry your audit went bad. Hope the next round isn't too tough on your taxes.

Just curious, how are your taxes set up? Is Lawrence Arms actually like an LLC (I've seen you write it a few times, but never really took it seriously) or is each of you just like a freelancer and split your whatever album/concert/merch dollars you make.

I've never thought about the tax considerations of punk rock before, but it seems interesting.

Julie said...

Bridgett.. i totally saw you at the show and I was gonna say something to you about your shirt(assuming you were the one in the shirt on your icon).. love it. good times.

I also had no idea what you were saying, Brendan.

Bridgett said...

Rise Against is an LLC, but I don't think I can tell you how I know that.

dustyfloors said...

So hungover.
An hour late for work and barely have my voice. Getting written up. Could not control my mouth or my bodily functions last night but it was all worth it.
Mercy.

chris said...

im in the same position as dusty floors. I had to take a disco nap in the car while my buddy chatted up BK.

the lawrence arms rule. it is always a great time.

cheers to the dude from australia and to the bum who showed me where the shooting gallery was nearby...

just kidding...

Garfield Roscoe said...

A few things...

Dusty, if you were up in the balcony, it is confirmed that your girlfriend is boneable for sure. Nice job.

Bridgett, if that was you standing right in front of the sound booth, you're annoying as sin. If not, please disregard.

Brendan, when you are that drunk, you make Pete Wentz look like Geddy Lee.

dustyfloors said...

Gar -
That was me in the balcony... Because I was with the girlfriend. She didn't want to get crushed and what not on the floor. I factored in partying a bit harder down there and getting a beejer. Girlfriend wins.
Good to know you find her bonable, cheers.

If she cheats on me I will find you... Kidding... maybe.

Garfield Roscoe said...

Dusty-

No bad intentions meant!

Just messin with ya a bit is all.

Mark said...

I saw Sean and Bridgett, but I didn't say hi to either of them. I talked to Toby though. He seemed very drunk.

Sean said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sean said...

The show last night was sickkkk thanks for a great time!

My friend Alison and I were right up front but then you guys broke into "On With The Show" all hell proceeded to break loose. Before our kneecaps were shattered against the stage, we drunkenly managed to climb in between two of the stage monitors and sit there on stage for the rest of the show. Needless to say, it was prettttty wild.

Oh, and after the show Beex was being a slave to his iPhone heh (see previous blog), so my friend Alison and I decided to rescue him (although he was probably doing something important, if sooo, sorry man). Either way, Beex was drunkenly charming as always, and referred to my friend Alison as "that shorter girl" and me as "the weirdly handsome guy." That was definitely a first.

Anyways, it was all incredibly awesome, so thanks again man!

Sean said...

oh, and Dead To Me are really all about the high-five, aren't they?

I dunno... after the show it seemed like Chicken and Nathan just kept alternating giving me high-fives. I still don't know why, but it was fucking awesome at the time haha.

dustyfloors said...

Gar - No worries man. I'm just messing back. I keep her in a cage when I'm not at home. I'm not worried about it at all.

Bridgett said...

Garfield- I was next to the sound booth, and I was with a fat guy in a TMNT shirt, not a bunch of females. If that puts me in the annoying as sin category, I'm sorry, I know not what I did.

Julie said...

Garfield, you could be referring to me or one of my friends right in front of the soundbooth... if so, not sure what made me/us annoying as sin either, but i/we had fun.

J said...

Sean - we were in the balcony, and you and your girlfriend are in a few of the (crappy, Easyshare) pictures I got. Most of the rest are of the top of Brendan's head. Glad you didn't get hit straight on with one of those stage divers.

Flew from Alabama for the show. Back in Alabama now. Feel like total ass but it was worth it to see them in Chicago -- that was nuts.

I should have tried to make friends.

Sean said...

J -

that's awesome, how can I see em?!

Oh, and that's not my girlfriend, just my friend that happens to be a girl (allegedly).

I am still trying to get my actual girlfriend into TLA, but alas, it's difficult...

J said...

Sean-

That was you in the yellow right?

If I can remember my photobucket username/password I will upload them. Otherwise, email? FB? Whatever you want.

Bridgett said...

Where I was standing was apparently the drunk people making out zone. There were two insanely tall drunk people making out in front of me through most of the Dead to Me set, and after they moved, a new couple moved in, and the chick had this giant purse that I was about to rip off her arm. Seriously, how much stuff do you have to carry into a show that you need a huge purse? She looked bored through TLA set, and that made me sad.

Garfield Roscoe said...

No worries. For the record, I'm sure that I'm also as annoying as sin... I really came off like a dickhead there, wasn't really meant that way.
Maybe I'm too old for punk rock shows?

laurabm said...

You guys had a really great set. Everyone was so excited. It was pretty amusing to hear you say 'balls yo' more than once. I had a wonderful view. Female crowd surfers are so rad. Um, what else. . . yeah. Rock and roll BK, I hope you found your way at two am. You looked a little lost. Thanks for the memories.

disastermarch said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mark said...

I love Dexter.

Louis said...

Maybe the iphone is the reason Richard Cory put a bullet in his brain.

Just sayin'.