Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Psyche!

Hey dicks. No baby yet, thanks for the good words though. I’m actually just hanging out with my family on our last bit of time as a three piece. It’s nice and relaxing. BUT, I’m not just kicking my legs up and having pina coladas.

I got us a great support band for the benefit show over there at Subterranean just like I promised y’all I would. It’s San Fran’s own Dead To Me!!!!!! How bout that shit, folks? It’s their first proper show in Chicago in four years! No, don’t thank me. thank a violent, horrible world that forces good folks to come together to make everything seem like it’s not just an inevitable doom spiral that ends in plague and death. That’s right, y’all! If it wasn’t for terrible, terrible things, this unprecedented event wouldn’t be happening so…uh…wait. Never mind that whole line of thinking.

I’m just excited to see DTM and play with them. Arrhythmic palpitations is one of my favorite songs of all time. I knew this was gonna be a cool show, because if time has shown me one thing, it’s that no one comes together for a party when a party is needed like Chicago area TLA fans, but man, having Dead to Me be willing to show up and do this for free, man, that’s pretty radical. We’re lucky folks over here, kids.

I know what you’re thinking: “What the fuck? Dead to Me is amazing and everything, but what about a Chicago band? Are we not coming together as a city? Well, don’t think I didn’t think of that you wise asses. That’s why Chicago’s own Blind Staggers are gonna be starting the evening off the way only they know how to do, which is to say drunkenly and with a sweede playing drums while a bunch of hillbillies ‘shoot the moon’ or whatever it is that country musicians do. Shit. Look, point is, this is gonna be an awesome night. Be there or cry. Those are your options.

Now, as promised:

When I was seventeen, I was out smoking pot with my friends Eric and Billy. It was A Sunday evening and we were in one of our favorite spots, which was a wooded area that surrounded the eastern shore of the Lagoon just north of Lincoln Park Zoo (it’s since been mostly deforested). This area was notable because it not only featured young pot smokers looking to sit around and laugh at the reflections of the skyscrapers in the filthy black oily pool that is the lagoon, but it also featured dudes who liked to walk around and give/receive anonymous blowjobs to/from each other. This made for some really amazing moments.

Imagine Billy and Eric and I staggering out of some bushes all stoned only to see a lonely fifty something with a yellow handkerchief dangling from his hand, standing shirtless in the midst of this underbrush next to a filthy mattress that someone had so kindly hauled down to facilitate blowjob giving/receiving. Would the lonely man raise his eyebrows in anticipation of an unforeseen windfall of youthful sensuality? Would the three stoned teenagers laugh out loud? Would there be awkwardness? Would this happen around about every third bend? You get the idea. It was a real gas.

So anyway, they were building the Nature Museum at this time and we decided to climb the construction fence and stop leading on all the creepy old cruisers. So, we went down and sat in the crane and hotboxed the bulldozer cabin and shit like that. Then, for whatever reason, we all took turns peeing into the big orange Gatorade cooler that was obviously there to provide water to the construction workers during the hottest months of summer. When I think back on that now, I’m so revolted with myself. After all, these were honest, hard working dudes who were in the midst of putting together something truly worthwhile: a nature museum, and we, just to make each other laugh, peed in their water cooler. Not cool.

Really, really funny at the time though.

Um…so, on the very off chance that you’re out there, construction guys, sorry. That was shitty. I’m trying to fix things on a galactic scale by helping these girls that got beaten with the bats. It’s kind of my duty, right? Sure it is.

Um, what else is there? I dunno. Can’t wait for this baby, kids. She’s gonna be something. We’re either gonna name her “Sock,” “Sock Drawer” or “Dog of War.”

Just so you guys know, I’m naming my kid after you. That’s how much I love you over here.

Okay, enough bullshitting.
From BSC world HQ on the top of Mount Kilimanjaro, I’m out!

29 comments:

Robb said...

oOo! gay firsties fer me. thanks for making me look like (even more of) a fucking fool; i just chimed in w 'yea i think baby too' on yesterday's

dustyfloors said...

Tickets purchased. I'm gonna get drunk!

Mark said...

Those dildos in the Falcon should open. But hey, this is good too.

planespotting said...

Tickets purchased on my end too ... and while everything you're doing is awesome, I was slightly disappointed to find out that you'll have two openers. Not that I don't like hearing new music, or other bands in general, but now the show is gonna run a bit later than I had anticipated.

On top of that, I'm seeing Conan O'Brien the next night at the Chicago Theater, so it'll be two long late nights in the city in a row. My ass is going to be tired.

But hey, I'm still under 30, I can take it. It will just be a doubly awesome week for me. Seeing the larry arms one night and Conan O'Brien live and in person the next will surely make up for any at work sluggishness! Maybe I should just take Friday off?

That sounds like a great idea ...

kylewagoner said...

I love Dead to Me. I was just with them two nights ago in Pittsburgh! Goooood times. Pittsburgh kids are really fucking violent, though. I'm not sure I like moshing with them. When they stagedive, they flail so that they punch and kick people when they're caught. Not a great thing to be going on...but Dead to Me was great as they were a month ago AND they remembered my face! I'm going to consider me and them friends...oh, and I wore my Lawrence Arms shirt signed by Matt and Dan to the show.

love,
Kyle

laurabm said...

that pretty girl with the glasses and (i think) lip ring yesterday at jbtv:
"Is he wearing the same hat that he's wearing on his tshirt?" (the bsc shirt)

nice.

Mary said...

You should have asked Assorted Jelly Beans to open your show. They are back together and actively touring! It's crazy.
The show is a great idea for your community and those girls. You have a heart of gold Brendan. Wish I saw more of that in my community.
Hope you and your wife have a healthy birth :D

claireathon said...

id totally love to fly over and come to the show, but alas, i cant.
gutted for me.
hope its bad-ass though.

Johno said...

Is there a TLA song about that park?

Mark said...

Hey planespotting, I'll be at Conan too. Can't wait. My buddy bought tickets to the Wednesday Conan show. He's pretty bummed he can't make the TLA show.

Scott said...

got me some tickets today. Was bummed about missing dead to me yesterday, so this show is going to be extra rad

Bridgett said...

I told my boss I have an appointment with the TLA on that night, so she gave me off. She didn't ask what TLA means, and I didn't tell her. But, dammit, it worked. Thanks acronyms!

Robb said...

bridgett, thats hilarious

Robin Yourgrave said...

So, sadly enough I'm moving from Indiana to Oregon on Monday, just in time to miss this show. I was curious though if there was any way to donate to the cause even though I won't be able to attend the show. Anyone got any info?

Toto said...

another great show i'm missing...
AAAAAAAAND:
i was fired from my stupid bartender job cause i had elbow surgery my friends, and the doctors gave me some kind of weird ketamine to calm the pain,and contrary to what i thought, it's no good.i fucking hate my life now.(so OWTH)
i'm writing with one hand by the way and i'm feeling like a mongaloid.
i'm so fucking tired of missing everything.
As soon as i recover my elbows (if i do)i'll start robbing banks and stuff, there is no other way.

TOTO

Banana@1000MPH said...

Robin, you will now more than likely never get to see the Larry Arms, but the good news is Cobra Skulls come here a shit-ton.

Banana@1000MPH said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Toto said...

it couldn't be any worse, plus i desperately need a drink and i'm afraid it'll make things worse.
i've got cheap whisky and 2 heinekens in the fridge.
should i?

i need my mom...

Owner Operator said...

blind staggers sound cool (thank you myspace [where can i get me some of that action on disc/download]) and you should bring them to australia with you

Garfield Roscoe said...

Holy shiyat. Assorted Jelly Beans!
Man, so I'm not the only one who's old and decrepit...

Bah bah bah braindead!

Karen Kitten Cupcake Sweet said...

wow!!
assorted jelly beans!? totally awesome! wild.
i bet theyre not heading to canada at all. le sigh.

Moxie. said...

i can't even explain how pissed I am that I live in NJ and not chicago

sheila said...

SOOOOOO, you finally made a public appearance in the shirt, did you? I am DYING to see...

Shannon said...

We all know the only appropriate name for your daughter would be Candice. Don't kid yourself.

sheila said...

yeah. Candice Sheila Kelly.

Johno said...

TLA = Three Letter Acronym.

Moxie. said...

i vote "little sock." it's cute. :P

planespotting said...

AV Club Chicago picked up the show announcement:

http://www.avclub.com/chicago/articles/the-lawrence-arms-to-hold-benefit-for-bucktown-mug,40803/

PIXI said...

The park I went to as a teenager to smoke pot also had old creepy guys walking around looking to give/receive anonymous blowjobs. My friends and I used to say that they were "trolling for suck".
I wish I could come to the show on the 19th, but I have school that night. Sucks to be me.