Monday, October 4, 2010

dogs!

So, wow. Sober dawn of Monday, eh? I spent this weekend in New York dicking around while some friends of mine got all married. When I got home last night I was barely able to stay awake until 930. I was looking forward to last night’s sleep almost all weekend. I felt that there was a tiny, off chance that I’d be able to just sleep for twelve incredible dead souled hours and then feel great today. Unfortunately this baby that sleeps in my room was up squirming and pissing her pants and moaning and yelling and shit the entire night. I don’t think there was a point where she stopped making sounds for more than like an hour and a half stretch from ten pm to 8 this morning. The results are not good.

I live near the train, and there’s a sadness that rolls out with that first 445 Monday morning train heading into the city. If I’m awake to hear that train, or if it wakes me up, I’m stuck there just thinking about how another week is brutally rolling in and there’s gonna be more work, more avoidance of work, more responsibility, more missed opportunities, more squandered hours and more soul crushing standing in line waiting for the chance to die. It’s not the most fun little bit of stocktaking that you can do right there at the beginning tip of your week, and boy howdy did it hit me in spades today.

I guess the real issue here is that I just spent the last four days staying up drinking whiskey until three in the morning when I’m usually soundly asleep. The lack of sleep and poison usually combines to stir up a little good old fashioned morning doom, but this batch is particularly vile today. And that’s totally fucked up. Here’s why: I just had one hell of a weekend where I hung out with some of my best friends, a guy who uses projections to make buildings disappear and a secret service dude that was, at one point, in charge of making sure the prince of Qatar got his dick implant safely and properly serviced. You can’t make that shit up folks.

What else? Two of my best friends are getting hitched this week. I’m playing two shows with some of my favorite bands EVER and I’ve got a good family and I’m pretty stoked on generally everything that’s going on. But shit, tell that to my spinning head and my two demanding kids and the brutal death march that’s gonna be today. I mean shit, folks. Is it too much to ask to just get some sort of hyperbaric Jacuzzi/soul transfusion machine to lounge in for a couple of days while beautiful naked women check on my various physical needs? Is that really so much to ask?

God. I could really use an apple.

20 comments:

Gregory said...

Brendan, when is your film getting released? I seem to remember you doing a lot of filming last year...

Bridgett said...

If I make a song request for Friday, will you honor it? I decided if you play "The Devil's Takin' Names" I'll give my boyfrennn a blowjob when we get home. You'd make 2 people really happy.

Weird, my word verification is 'death'...

dustyfloors said...

See you Friday, you sexy bastard!

Also...
Brendan, when is your bands DVD getting released? I seem to remember you doing a 10th anniversary show last year...

Scott said...

i will see you Thursday, can't go Friday. Going on a road-trip of sorts with my dad. Sucks missing the Larry Arms, but should be a good time either way.

Jesus said...

The dudes on Crankstrap haven't said/done much. I've been bugging them on FB but they really haven't replied, but maybe I should use more polite words like "please" or "thank you" in place of "fucking."

Cheer up, Beex. I perked up listening to the Disaster March and then got my heart good and hardened from Turnstiles when they started screaming at me this morning.

Sean said...

Brendan, when are you releasing that new song? I seem to remember you writing some sort of "creepy children's nursery song" last year...

Andrew said...

I have an advice query for you, Beex.
I've been hanging out with/dating/banging this chick for about a month now. She is easily the coolest chick I've ever dated and we've hit it off better than I could have imagined. We met in class, and it just so happened that I started talking to her shortly after she went through a rather large breakup from which she was engaged and cohabitating with another dude. We spoke about this a lot when we first started seriously dating and I basically told her that I'd give her as much time as she needed to get comfortable being in a relationship again.
Things have been going very well and the breakup hasn't been an issue until last night. Her ex called and said he had some things of hers, she had some things of his, and he wanted to talk to her. I want to be supportive of her in this situation but I don't know what to do. I don't really care that they're going to talk, but I understand that she might not be completely over this dude and I don't want it to stir up any lingering doubts she may have. Like I said I care for this girl a lot, and I'd like to keep her around as long as possible. I just need to figure out what my role should be in this ordeal. I'd like to talk to her about it and explain that I'm here for her whatever goes down, and that I understand that she might not be completely over him and I'm okay with that and I'm willing to take it slowly if necessary but I'm not sure if bringing it up will make an issue out of something that may or may not have even been an issue in the first place? This just unfamiliar territory for me.

Nick said...

Brendan, when is your next child going to be born? I seem to remember you doing a lot of fucking last night...

planespotting said...

Hey BK - your favorite author is coming out with a new book:

http://www.desmoinesregister.com/article/20101004/LIFE/10040308/1039/Bill-Bryson-takes-readers-home-with-his-new-book

According to the article, here's an interesting tidbit that you'll learn in the book:

In the home's passages, rats may live and busy themselves having sex 20 times a day.

Y'allAreBrutalizinMeEe! said...

Brindan you dun almos gave me korinary! Thought maybe you'd been struck with the sudden realizashin of juss how silly lookin "#1 fan" Candice is, and the ensuing existenshal/spirichwal funk had proven unbearable! Ever sekretly hope you'll live long enough ta become 'Mickey Rooney'-krazy? tha be a hoot n a holler I tell ya!

nick i seem remember fuckin yo mom-ma laaaaass niiiite! yo mom-ma laaaaas niiite! sity boi

Banana@1000MPH said...

Y'allAreBrutalizinMeEe!, please stop posting. Every time you post I think of Mr. Show and then read the least funny post in all the comments and it really is killing me.

Katie said...

Last time Larry Arms and the Souls played a show together I lost my voice. I have a feeling I will lose my voice times a million for Riot Fest.

It's A-me, Martucci said...

dear bananaz@100rpms - not to pick a bone but, actually yes, to pick a bone - is that not precisely how you'd envision the msg board posts of an over the top, borderline-retarded drunken homphobe hillbilly caricature like ronnie dobbs if he managed to find the internets? Crude, direct, and the anithesis of witty. Seems pretty spot on to me. I mean, the Ronnie stuff on mr show is funny because of context/scenario, not the "clever shit" Ronnie has to say. 'Unfunny' and 'pahetic' by design, me thinks. Therefore yallarebrutalizinmee, at the risk of giving you too much credit, you get my coveted gold star of approval.

p.s. Mickey Rooney?? The mere mention of that senile twat's name is nothing short of hilarious 100% of the time. I mean silent night deadly night 5?? hello? cmon

limited nobility said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ryan said...

Yeah I agree, +1 for youallarebrutalizingmeeee
and -1 for bananas

Robb said...

Beeeeex why is it seemingly every overpraised flash-in-the-pan indie band from the past decade or so has taken a crack at covering that Talking Heads song ‘This Must Be The Place’? Just you tube for the proof? Wassup with thaaaaat shit? Is it cuz it’s a bona fide seminal claaassic? Arcade Fiiiiiiiiire. yallarebrutalizinme is funny as fuck btw, just so there's no confusion

limited nobility said...

banana,im sure with a lot of concentration and some regimented fingernail squishing of your scrotum and inner thigh fat you can "train" yourself to be cognizant of the fact that the brutalizerz posts aren't gonna make you as happy as watching mr show does even before reading said posters comment and being bemused/b-bummed.you sniveling froot

Nick said...

Yeah, I mean, what's not to like about a guy with a profile that says, "I control my bitch with violence"?

limited nobility said...

nick,youallarebrutalizingme would be the spelling if ronnie dobbs were from Manitoba or some shit.which would prob be even funnier so thanks for that.uh,u can do the math though

limited nobility said...

how dare me,I meant ole pukey face ryan uhcourse