Thursday, March 19, 2009

Hocus pocus and shit

Sheeeit am I ever behind this morning. I took a while to sleep in because last night I just couldn’t tear myself away from the most amazing television program maybe EVER. Of course I’m referring to the Magic Awards.
I was going through my channel listings when I saw that the magic awards were on, and I said to my wife, “you know, I bet this is the worlds gayest awards show” then I turned to it, and here’s what we saw: Neil Patrick Harris, who was the host saying “Let me please present my friend, living legend, Gay Blackstone!” Then this woman walked out who looked exactly like what you’d imagine a fag hag would look like at about age seventy, and THEN they pan to the audience, who’s giving her a standing ovation, and the first guy standing is in a thick, red and white striped suit jacket with a twirled up mustache, a bowtie and a combover.
Then this guy who looked like a cross between a ken doll and Bo from dukes of hazard, dressed like the lead in a broadway musical production of Indiana Jones did this uh…magic performance, but it was decidedly old school in that it featured no banter, only frantic, leaping, twirling dance and chicks in tight velour clothes. Amazingly, as the camera went in for the close ups, everyone (magician, slutty assistants, Neil Patrick Harris) was revealed to be fifty or older. Needless to say, it was one of the greatest programs I’ve ever seen. And I was right. Until there is an awards show specifically devoted to homosexuality, the magic awards wins the award for gayest awards show. Oh, well, I wasn’t counting the Tony’s I guess. Huh.
Not a ton of time today, as I mentioned earlier. Huh…I think I’m gonna quit while the quitting is good.
Jesus fucking Christ, man…That magic show is filling my brain. I can’t think of anything else, but I only caught like the last ten minutes of it, so I don’t have anything else to talk about but magic. Except, I bet that David Blaine gets laid like crazy. He’s creepy and dark and he’s got the confidence to levitate and just approach people on the street and he amazes them with his gloomy torturedness…he’s getting laid like a first time drug offender in a maximum security prison. I know it. HeyooooO!
Okay, enjoy your stupid Thursday. I’m going to work.


Candice said...

some less gay, not safe for work, magic

Robb said...

Suffice it so say my heart was crushed to learn that Cobra Skulls have apparently opted to not continue weaving 'cobra' into song titles on their latest material. Sure it was a kitschy gimmick, but a beautiful kitschy gimmick, goddamnit.

And I usually don't even bother with such things, but temptation got the best of me and I swung by brokeNCYDE's space. I have an intense desire to beat them up 'early 90's bully' style--just boxing their ears; twisting noses, nips, etc. I feel like I could.

Robb said...

Oh yeah--ever listen to Drive Like Jehu/Hot Snakes by chance, BK? Well in the aftermath of HS those dudes (minus John Reis) started a new band, Obits, a little while back--which sounds, well, almost exactly like Hot Snakes. Pretty great if you like that sound, though. > brokencyde, anyway.

jbody said...

hey robb, post that adonis pic.Hells yeah blaine gets laid,he used to fungole fiona apple before she ate and wrote good songs and josie maran which might not sound cool but is.I chalk that shit up to wizardry and the leo link.If you listen to some bullshit backpack hip hop with dicaprio long enough that shit will pay out for next years 'it' actor lucas haas.His time haas come y'all.

Robb said...

Oh shit; the public posting debut of $hitty P-$weet Dreamz/Creamz.
If a legit request, I'll post adonis in a most public fashion. Backpack hiphop w/ Leo sounds like some shit Ezra would pull.

Matt Ramone said...

Beex, I know you're close with the HWM dudes. If you knew Chris' ex-fiancee, I want to pass on my condolences. It's almost always terrible when someone goes before their times.