So I’m all suited up to dole out advice and as I go into my inbox to see what sick perversions you turds are being confused by (even though, let’s be honest, aren’t almost all the advice querries about some dude who is in love with some chick that he can’t have because A) he just did something shitty or B) she is in a relationship) when I notice an email from a woman named monika who wants to link exchange with my blog. Her tone was extremely uh…robotic, and it almost, ALMOST seemed like it was some sort of form letter. Except for her blog name, which is…duh duh DUH!
….(wait for it)….
SO, I’m thinking, well, I MUST go check this out. Sounds awesome, right? Well…it’s strange, because the lesbian dildos blog ALSO seems like it was written by a robot. It’s like they took a fascinating subject (lesbian dildos) and had some dudes write an encyclopedia brittanica entry on it (that’s an old type of alphabetized book series that used to have tons of information in it for you kids out there), THEN had some line cook translate it into Bulgarian and then used a free robot translator to put it back into English. I mean seriously, did you think the topic of lesbian dildos could get as dull and incomprehensible as this:
Others find that lesbian sex toys are for 'maama ' who need to meet their women just are sexually deficient and require lesbian sex helps to assistance them out. I do not intend to wound your pride just what businesses the lesbian sex toys are a lot before. Because our company is in battle over the rightness of sexual pleasure, it is not surprising that lesbian sex toys are case to numerous myths and controversies. While lesbian sex toys are usually used for alone sex, many lesbian couples love using sex toys together, no matter regardless of their gender or sexual orientation.
I’m a big fan of the fact that many lesbian couples, regardless of their gender or orientation use lesbian dildos. That’s good to know. So when I use lesbian dildos with my friend Neil, we’re just a couple of male, straight gay acting lesbians exploring the way that lesbian dildos can assistance us out. Sweet, bro.
Dude, this is blowing my mind. It’s like this site was actually typed BY a dildo. Not a person who could easily be described as a dildo, but an actual, animated lesbian dildo.
To further my theory that this was written by a machine, THIS is an excerpt from the email I got from “Monika”:
You have an interesting blog.
I would be glad to collaborate with you.
So here is a question for you: Can we carry out a link trade,
I mean your http://badsandwichchronicles.blogspot.com/ and my blog: http://lesbiandildos.blogspot.com/
Please can you use anchor "Lesbian Dildos" or just paste this code " Lesbian Dildos"
I think it would be relevant for both of us.
It would be nice to receive the answer to my letter.
Best regards, Monika Preston.
Okay, so that’s the whole letter…sounds like a robot, right? Monika has to be a robot. Which is awesome, because I went to her blog, and she’s hot. If that’s how they’re making the fuckbots look these days, I’m down. DUDE! Maybe SHE’S the new breed of lesbian dildo! A GIGANTIC HOT LESBIAN FUCKBOT THAT CAN BE USED BY ANYONE, REGARDLESS OF GENDER OR PREFERENCE TO ASSISTANCE THEM OUT!!!!!
Nah. That’s crazy.
Do you think it’s some sort of lesbian dildo search engine and it’s stumbled across my blog because I’ve used enough naughty terms that it’s finally peaked the “robot porn sextoy blog language meter thingy?” I don’t know man. My mind is BLOWN.
Really, I wish monika’s blog was a blog about lesbian dildos, the people, not the toys. That really was my ultimate wish: that this site would be some sort of Sapphic whipping post where lesbians come to call out other lesbians that are behaving like real dildos. That’s worth reading.
Charlene is a real lesbian dildo because she doesn’t even think twice about eating the last piece of pizza even though she doesn’t have a job and she never drives to target because she doesn’t have a car cuz her broke ass hasn’t got no money and she never chips in for gas and her titties look like two pieces of beat up French toast just hanging there. For these reasons and more, Charlene is a lesbian dildo.
That’s what I want to read, man. Where’s that website? Maybe I should do it here. OKAY! LESBIANS! You’ve gotta be out there right? I want your gripes about your fellow lesbians. I will feature them all in a segment called “REAL lesbian Dildos!” This is gonna be great. As for you sad sack teenaged and early twentysomething boys who can’t figure out what to do…I swear I’ll get to you soon, but for now, it sounds like your problems can be solved with a few lesbian dildos. Peace.