Tuesday, September 1, 2009

let the great experiment begin!

Man, Dan and I went to the cubs game last night and I ate a huge steaming pile of garbage. The farts that gently pepper the air around me are testament to the rottenness that infects one’s insides if you pour oldstyle and whiskey all over nachos and hotdogs. It was a pretty good time. I got a little loose and today I’m feeling a bit groggy. Not hungover, mind you, but groggy. Nothing a bike ride won’t fix.
I lost my favorite hat last night too. It’s just a regular knit beanie, but man, I’ve had that motherfucker since I was in highschool. I’m wearing it on the back of our Cocktails and Dreams record in the picture where Neil is entertaining Chris and I with the marionette in Greece. That hat was great and now it’s out there, lonely and scared getting worn by god knows who. It’s fucking troubling, fer reals.
Okay, so on to business. I’m sure you’re wondering about my movie. Let’s just say that on Sunday, I said ‘pig dick’ in front of a restaurant full of elderly people about six billion times and I watched a guy beat another guy with a gallon of milk. It was hilarious. From now on, the shooting’s gonna be mostly just on weekends, which means I may be a little more regular with this wonderfully witty little project that you all constantly hit refresh for all day long…Which brings me to my next point:
The voting for our ten year anniversary show is now underway. Here’s how the shit works. Send an email to tlavoting@gmail.com and vote for the song or songs you want to hear at the show at the metro on Oct. 24. This will probably end up informing our setlists out west too, so feel free to vote for any of the shows. Now, keep in mind a few things. Firstly, you can vote for as many songs as you want, but if you’re really irritating, or you send in a whole setlist, or you’re demanding or you sound in any way like a dildo, I’m not counting your vote. Yeah, boo hoo. Anyway, secondly, there are NO songs that are safe, meaning only the songs you vote for will be played, so don’t vote for obscure shit thinking that someone else is gonna do all the voting for 100 resolutions. If you don’t vote for it, it’s not getting played, understand? You gotta vote for the songs you actually want to hear. Don’t try to impress me by pulling out something obscure if it’s not legitimately a song you want to hear, because frankly, it’s not impressive, it’s just kind of dumb and counterproductive.
Third, if you all vote and the winning setlist just absolutely sucks, we’re not gonna play it, so no being a smartass and attempting to sabotage a show you won’t be at or any shit like that, got it? This is the kind of thing that really shouldn’t have to be said, but everyone’s a fucking comedian now days, and there’s nothing like laying down a little contest with a few rules to bring the assholes out of the woodwork to try to ‘beat the system’ or ‘culture jam’ or whatever dumb phrase you’re using these days as a euphemism for ‘being a dork.’
Uh, what else? Oh, okay, we’re gonna try to do a nice selection from all our records, which means that even if the top fifteen songs are all off one record, we’re only probably gonna play five of em, and then the tabulation will start again with the most voted for songs on the other records. This is mostly for 2 reasons. 1) I don’t want to play Ghost Stories front to back, and 2) it’s a fucking anniversary celebration type thing…it should have a retrospective vibe, don’tcha think?
Oh! And since it’s gonna be leaked all over the internet by then, don’t forget about our five new songs. You can vote for those too.
Uh, I think that’s everything. I fucking hate all of you.
xoxoxo

45 comments:

John F. said...

I wish more than anything I were able to go to this show. Or that you guys had plans to come out to New England.

If I were gonna vote, I'd say "Faintly Falling Ashes" would be just about my #1 pick.

Jesus said...

I'm with John, I'm dying to see this show. Can't anyone think of the children?! Or Canada for that matter?

If I had a vote that mattered at all, I'd be voting for 'The Raw and Searing Flesh' as well as 'Are You there Margaret?'

planespotting said...

Crap.

I just realized your gay anniversary show is on the exact same day as my friends' gay wedding.

Mikey said...

It better be leaked well before then.

Candice's Breasts said...

This post has perked the right one up.

Candice's Breasts said...

Now the left one.

Jayzilla said...

EMAIL PENDING


yay for regular posting!

Mikey said...

oh, you wanna turn this anniversary show into a DVD for us losers stuck in other cities with zero dollars for travelling?

That would inspire me to vote.

Oh, and your voting system seems to be set up more for "suggestions" than "voting". ha

Stizzy said...

all over the internet thousand of clicks could be heard as socks from every nation sent in votes for "Nuts Nuts We Want nuts"

dan said...

I love the arrested development reference...

Scott said...

email sent...#1 "the revisionist" #2 "are you there margaret" #2 "Booze Cruise" #4 "100 resolutions"

shit this is hard.

Candice said...

Ive gotta admit, my breast imposter has me a little freaked out. How did you know it was right before left?

christa! said...

Seriously, Boston misses you. Get your asses back here. We'll buy you a beer or 10.

...and if I was able to attend the show, Turnstiles all the way.

Candice's Breasts said...

You dare call your own breasts imposters? After all this time together . . .

Candice said...

Now I'm a lot freaked out

Banana@1000MPH said...

I'm not voting because I think the people actually going to the shows should really get to choose - and also, it is the punk thing to do.

Have I told you that someone will put a pox on the wedding you are going to that is fucking over the Northwest? Well, probably not, but maybe.

Kevin Burnett said...

Candice, It's just Danimal being a weirdo.

Jesus said...

All for the DVD thing, maybe even a tour DVD for the anniversery?

That'd be sweet for all the losers who can't attend.

Tony said...

I think it's time Frank Turner started reading this blog:

http://www.frank-turner.com/2009/08/angry-thoughts-on-tired-subject.html

Andrew said...

i'm with stizz on "nuts nuts" for sure, but someone please help me vote in "106 south"

Nate B. said...

It's gonna be tough to narrow my votes down. I can't wait for these shows.

Candice said...

106 south is #1 on my list

Candice said...

p.s. brendan- let's totally be gchat buddies!

Robb said...

Thanks, Josh!

Aww and look, Candice's breasts. I get cancer; I kill Candice.

Candice said...

wait a sec, what am i missing? why are you killing me robb? i'm gonna be a doctor. if you get cancer, i can cure it!

Robb said...

Oh how sketchy grammar ruins even the shittiest of jokes!

Hi, we're Candice's breasts. We'll kill Candice with cancer, referencing a line from an overpraised film adapted from a marginally-talented writer's marginally-relevant novel in the process.

planespotting said...

One of my favorite lines is from 106 South:

"Watchin' Simpsons/afraid to call you/I know I fucked up/I know I owe you/$700/please don't hate me/I'll get a job and I'll pay you back some how ..."

What I want to know is:

What Simpson's episode was Chris watching, why did he owe $700, and did he ever get a job to pay back the debt?

I propose that at some point, we all ask all the Lawrence Arms song-content related questions that we have and Brenden try to answer like, the top 10 or something.

Candice said...

robb- now if I get cancer i'll fucking kill you

planespotting- do you mean neil?

kylewagoner said...

Candice, you've crossed the celebrity in my eyes line now that someone goes by your breasts. I haven't been following sock drawer so fuck! Brendan, come to the East Coast with either Alkaline Trio or American Steel or both of them. Oooooor, Cobra Skulls, Teenage Bottlerocket, or any variation of those. That would be wonderful. I'd make a big sign to hold up in the crowd with a huge lipstick mark and a cumstain on it and your face.

love,
Kyle

VoicesOffCamera said...

I picked 106 South too. That would be so fucking awesome to hear live.

-Steven

Candice said...

thanks kyle. my parents are prouder of me now than they were when i got into med school.

VoicesOffCamera said...

Old Mexico Way would be fun to hear live, too.

-Steven

Mikey said...

planespotting - 106 south is sung by Neil if I'm not mistaken.

Candice said...

mikey- you are not mistaken

Owner Operator said...

one - DVD for us aussie kids! jsut need 3 mates with cams in 3 corners. simple, diy styling.

two - i like the idea about asking questions about songs... i've always wanted to know who nebraska is but been two lazy to get my google/search on.

three - any plans for a trip back to australia anytime soon?

four - well there is no four, only three of them

cheers


p.s
word verification: rawsra
...is that what a hardcoremetalemopunkgrowlingband sounds like??

planespotting said...

Dammit. I misspoke.

Neil does sing 106 South. Obviously, with the money bills pills thrills and girls reference.

*slams down The Lawrence Arms ultra-fan card, walks away in disgrace*

Banana@1000MPH said...

Robb, what is that from? I remember it, but your humorous description lacks the name that I forgot.

I genuinely thought it was from the South Park Breast Cancer Episode Ever, but your description says otherwise.

Nina said...

I'm here to appreciate the arrested development line

Robb said...

Banana - swap colon for breasts; Jack for Candice.

I love to think my recent comment about making Tobias Funke jokes to Tobias Jeg had a small hand in today's headline. But I'm a dreamer.

Candice's Breasts said...

Gettin' hot in here smashed with all these people in the sock drawer.

Bridgett said...

When does the soon to be leaked EP come out? For real. To buy. When something gets leaked, I always find out about it a week too late.

Matt Dougherty said...

Try google moderator instead of having everyone email you their song ideas. They can put in ideas and vote on them rather than emailing the same ones over and over again.

http://moderator.appspot.com/

PIXI said...

The top song on my list is Like a Record Player. I also voted for nuts nuts we want nuts. I seriously can't wait for this show.

*Ro' said...

'A boring story' and '100 resolutions'.

David said...

i know it will happen but

brick wall views!!!!
kevin costern's casino
quincentuple your money