Thursday, January 7, 2010

and the rivers will flow with blood...

Well, it's finally happened. God's punishing us in the midwest for our depraved homosexual lifestyle. You've probably read about the tons of frozen water falling from the sky and the temperatures cold enough to kill a chihuahua or an infant or a grandma or a homeless guy, right? Well, it's happening. The end is fucking nigh, and I for one don't have time time to waste jib jabbin with you folks. I gotta get out there and get my end-of-all-things blowjob and repent and get jesus's autograph and find kirk cameron so he can laugh at me like I so richly deserve. SO, with that said, I gotta go. See you all in hell. I'll be by the pool that's shaped like Hitler's mustache, just chilling with Wilt Chamberlain and Judge Ito.
Cool?
All right. Enjoy the rapture!
Ta.

14 comments:

dustyfloors said...

Days like these make me miss being a kid. Snow days were the most amazing things in life. Grow up & they become exactly what you've just described, Beex.

Mikey said...

snow days?

man...i live in toronto. and in my 12 years of public school I only ever got 1 snow day. bullshit...

my bad sandwich craving has not been fullfilled today. i'm hungry.

Drunken Acorn said...

You said it BK the rapture is upon us. It's 51 in the AZ. It's so cold I might lose the basketball shorts and wear sweats.

j said...

Congrats on the first Judge Ito reference of the Decade...

Sean said...

hahaha, shaped like Hitler's mustache....

Mark said...

It only snowed like..5 inches max here. Expected a foot, got 5 inches. Sounds familiar.

Blake said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQDLetuU3JY

Andrew said...

yeah i read about some homeless guy freezing to death in kc. shit is bonkers.

misshennessy said...

I seriously don't know how you guys deal w/ those midwest winters. I tried and couldn't hang. It's a balmy 72 here in lala land today! I miss the seasons sometimes but not enough to deal with that shit. Temp is "20 but feels like 10" and it gets so much worse than that! No thanks... Old man winter you can KYS!

Sickie27 said...

Here in Atlanta we've apparently gotten 2 inches of snow and everyone's freaking out about how dangerous it is outside. There's even talk of cancelling my show tomorrow because of the roads. REALLY, GEORGIA?! The snow is gonna melt and it'll be like rain. Shut up, already. Ugh. BK, can I send all the dumb "ATL-iens" your way? You can teach them a lesson.

JSIN said...

I think Kirk Cameron has been hiding under a rock.

nosizethatsmall said...

Homeless dudes freezing to death...Kirk Cameron nowhere to be found...anyone else see the connection here?

Blake said...

Yes, we've all been left behind. For some reason, my southern baptist grandpa is still around.

Stu said...

http://rapidfire.sci.gsfc.nasa.gov/gallery/?2010007-0107/GreatBritain.A2010007.1150.500m.jpg

We're all fucked.
In other news, my city was voted the 5th worst in the world. Good times.