healthy white baby? What else you got?

Last night was the Oscars and like so many of you I was glued to my seat hoping to catch just a glimpse of some overpaid Hollywood turd sucking off some other overpaid Hollywood turd. Highlights included mila kunis’s dress and lowlights included what? Anne Hathaway? James Franco? That’s what I heard. I didn’t actually watch the thing if we’re being honest.

In fact, I was out at a rock and roll show and in what I can only call one of the most bizarre spectacles I’ve seen on stage under the headline of ‘punk rock’ I witnessed a bunch of hot girls in skanky (read: awesome) dresses playing violins. I didn’t know there were that many hot women out there that were willing to tour and also play the violin and like/appreciate irish tinted punkrock. It was a little bit wild.

It’s kind of like that opening scene in the Social Network where homeboy talks about how the number of people in China with genius level IQs is equal to the whole population of the US. Is that what he said? I don’t really know/care, but that’s what I heard. This is fascinating because it just highlights the whole monkey/Shakespeare/typewriter theory, which, for our purposes here I’ll sum up as “the more motherfuckers you’ve got around, the more of em are gonna do X, pretty much no matter what X is, no matter how weird, difficult, improbable or immoral or just downright wacky it is.”

They say that there are more people on the earth now than all the rest of the history of humanity that have ever lived combined. That’s astounding. I know we discussed it the other day when we were talking about how doomed we are due to food shortages and overpopulation and all that, but there’s another side to it too. We can call it the ‘hot girls playing violins on tour with a famous punk band’ side. Essentially, everything that’s weird will someday be somewhat normal, not because of a global understanding based on awareness, but because there will simply be so many people that do it that it’s no longer weird by default. This has already started. Being a skateboarder used to be kind of a weird thing to be. Now it’s not, just because it’s everywhere. It will not stop with quirky individual sports though.

Let’s think about this for a second. There’s a group of people that are really into sticking long metal electrodes into their dongholes and shocking themselves that way. That’s weird to me. However, based on the explosion of population, that could soon be the kind of thing that a ton of people are doing and it may not even be out of the question to discover that (lets say) your two business partners are both into interior dong-shockery. Just stands to reason. More people everywhere=more people in the margins.

There will also be more graphic designers, more mechanics, more models, more perverts, more serial killers and dead-skin mask wearers. There will be more sociopaths and more extremely conscientious smart people. There will be more mongaloids. Will there be more priests? Hard to say…that’s something that’s kind of dying out, but there will be more holy men for sure. Will there be more beautiful blonde girls playing the violin? Probably yes. Will there also be more lurky perverts? Almost certainly.

This will also lead to a huge amount of movies, songs, poems and paintings that are so completely different from each other and even anything that currently exists. Art is gonna get weird.

Well, this is already happening. Hell, all this is already happening. When I first started touring (for example), there were just a few bands that toured. It was a big deal to do independent tours. There were literally just a couple hundred bands out there, tops. Now, there are hundreds and thousands of bands all over the highways and every single one of them has a totally different idea about what good music is, and probably a few of em also wear those deadskin masks and shock their wangs from the inside out.

Look, I’ve got a head cold and I can’t really think. What were we talking about?