Monday, February 28, 2011

healthy white baby? What else you got?

Last night was the Oscars and like so many of you I was glued to my seat hoping to catch just a glimpse of some overpaid Hollywood turd sucking off some other overpaid Hollywood turd. Highlights included mila kunis’s dress and lowlights included what? Anne Hathaway? James Franco? That’s what I heard. I didn’t actually watch the thing if we’re being honest.

In fact, I was out at a rock and roll show and in what I can only call one of the most bizarre spectacles I’ve seen on stage under the headline of ‘punk rock’ I witnessed a bunch of hot girls in skanky (read: awesome) dresses playing violins. I didn’t know there were that many hot women out there that were willing to tour and also play the violin and like/appreciate irish tinted punkrock. It was a little bit wild.

It’s kind of like that opening scene in the Social Network where homeboy talks about how the number of people in China with genius level IQs is equal to the whole population of the US. Is that what he said? I don’t really know/care, but that’s what I heard. This is fascinating because it just highlights the whole monkey/Shakespeare/typewriter theory, which, for our purposes here I’ll sum up as “the more motherfuckers you’ve got around, the more of em are gonna do X, pretty much no matter what X is, no matter how weird, difficult, improbable or immoral or just downright wacky it is.”

They say that there are more people on the earth now than all the rest of the history of humanity that have ever lived combined. That’s astounding. I know we discussed it the other day when we were talking about how doomed we are due to food shortages and overpopulation and all that, but there’s another side to it too. We can call it the ‘hot girls playing violins on tour with a famous punk band’ side. Essentially, everything that’s weird will someday be somewhat normal, not because of a global understanding based on awareness, but because there will simply be so many people that do it that it’s no longer weird by default. This has already started. Being a skateboarder used to be kind of a weird thing to be. Now it’s not, just because it’s everywhere. It will not stop with quirky individual sports though.

Let’s think about this for a second. There’s a group of people that are really into sticking long metal electrodes into their dongholes and shocking themselves that way. That’s weird to me. However, based on the explosion of population, that could soon be the kind of thing that a ton of people are doing and it may not even be out of the question to discover that (lets say) your two business partners are both into interior dong-shockery. Just stands to reason. More people everywhere=more people in the margins.

There will also be more graphic designers, more mechanics, more models, more perverts, more serial killers and dead-skin mask wearers. There will be more sociopaths and more extremely conscientious smart people. There will be more mongaloids. Will there be more priests? Hard to say…that’s something that’s kind of dying out, but there will be more holy men for sure. Will there be more beautiful blonde girls playing the violin? Probably yes. Will there also be more lurky perverts? Almost certainly.

This will also lead to a huge amount of movies, songs, poems and paintings that are so completely different from each other and even anything that currently exists. Art is gonna get weird.

Well, this is already happening. Hell, all this is already happening. When I first started touring (for example), there were just a few bands that toured. It was a big deal to do independent tours. There were literally just a couple hundred bands out there, tops. Now, there are hundreds and thousands of bands all over the highways and every single one of them has a totally different idea about what good music is, and probably a few of em also wear those deadskin masks and shock their wangs from the inside out.

Look, I’ve got a head cold and I can’t really think. What were we talking about?

10 comments:

Sean said...

Thats one of the reasons im discouraged from actually getting a band going..... i know its a shitty excuse.... but theres already soooooo many fucking "underground" bands out there that i feel it causes people to be easily dismissive when you ask someone/a friend to check out your new song/show.

I dunno.... that and i apparently wait for a drummer to find ME.... which isnt exactly panning out.....

Sean said...

Not to mention after listening to the mars volta or arcade fire and then i play some of my own songs i just feel like theyre so stupid/too simple/undynamic that i get caught up in those defeating thoughts that ill never write a "deloused" or "suburbs"

But again.... i admit thats a relatively "pussy" way of going about something i actual love doing and would give anything to do for a living (or for free, either way...)

Drunken Acorn said...

Sean you need to just get a strange instrument like a recorder or a didgeridoo. Put that shit in your band then everyone will be like "Wow thats shits fucking cool and original." Or you can sing and clap your hands and use no instruments. Or maybe I'm just dumb and those are bad ideas.

Sean said...

haha yea, i need a "cool" gimmick...

... my current "guy who sings in his room at night" doesn't really attract too much talent...

BEEXtrix Potter said...

Hyaaaa black gurlz play violins like dis but white "grrrrls" play violins like diiiiiiiiii

BEEXtrix Potter said...

And what, no appreciation for my hilarious-ass Kevin James Saw/treadmill scenario from the other day? God you people are retarded.

FranklinStein said...

@Sean:

upon first listen, 3 am is a badass song. from what I gather from the song, you wrote it at 17, so I can only imagine you have much more to offer. that's usually how it works, anyhow.

do all that you can to see your songs come to fruition. if you imagine drums, bass, horns, whatever, make it happen. after several years, I was finally able to do so through networking. you've been in a band before, so surely you know some musicians that can help you out.

keep writing; you'll know which songs are worth developing and which are total shit (to your tastes, anyhow).

Sean said...

haha thanks franklinstein!


yeaaaa, those songs are soooo old..... i mean, when we were a band kids seemed to like em... although when i go back and listen to em i cringe a little.... i think they sound terrible haha

but yea, i just demo'd a few songs acoustically today... so far they've gotten good enough reception....

Sean said...

oh, and i chuckled at the kevin james/treadmill idea...

although it would be even better if they sarcastically dangled a cheeseburger or something in front of the treadmill, just to up the ante....

Sean said...

so tonight was a sad night. I came to the conclusion that my music fucking sucks.

I don't know what to do, I feel like James just punched me in the dick or something. :(