Is it okay to fetishize people for being black or fat or skinny or bald or white or whatever it is that makes them who they are that makes someone want to fuck them? I think it’s okay. I mean, when it comes to boning, there’s a certain level of sort of unbendable preferences that come into play, whether you like it or not, and you just kind of have to either go with it or deny yourself. You can’t reprogram the inherent desire to fuck whoever it is that you want to fuck. If you doubt the truth of this statement, talk to any gay guy who grew up in a strict conservative family. And sure, being gay is different than only wanting to fuck midgets, BUT, IF the only thing you ever want to fuck is a midget, what are you gonna do? Find midgets or settle for fucking something that you don’t want to fuck…and that’s a bummer, and it’s gonna lead to unhappiness.
Back to the question, can you fetishize someone and not feel bad about it? Sure. I mean, I guess there’s the whole question of getting to know a person and being up front and all that, but that’s really just basic manners stuff, right? I think a lot of people’s problems with person fetishization is the “Oh, she only fucks him cuz he’s a big black dude and she gets off on that and that’s it. She doesn’t care about him,” but that’s hardly the kind of attitude that’s unique to people who fetishize others. I’ve got several friends that will fuck anything with a vagina and a drivers license, and sure, call it a crappy way to be, does that mean they just have a vagina and drivers license fetish? Nah. They’re dudes. They’re dudes who don’t want to go to jail for pumping chicks who are still in highschool (or at least not seniors). Just purely getting off on someone and not giving a shit about them as people is pretty common. Is it a crappy thing to do? Eh…grey area. It’s not sweet. But you know what man, back in the day fucking and sweetness got all twisted together for some dumb reason, but they don’t need to be, you know?
Really, at the end of the day, fetishes are just standards, and yeah, they’re odd standards sometimes, but they’re standards, and everyone has to have standards.
Some girls will ONLY fuck dudes with jobs- Good for them. What’s then the difference if they’ll only fuck dudes with GOOD jobs? There’s none. Okay, so then what if they’ll only fuck pizza guys and plumbers who are on housecalls? Don’t tell me that meeting a CPA at a bar and fucking him later that same night is ANY different than fucking the Pizza guy when he stops by with your crazy bread. Strangers having consensual sex after a very brief introduction is no more acceptable because of some job, or some illusion that bars are great places to meet strangers but dominoes isn’t. Okay, sure, the pizza guy is actually WORKING while all this is going down, but hey! Who hasn’t dreamed of a little bone sesh during work now and then? I’m getting off topic. I started this example to lead into fetishes, I know that fucking a pizza guy isn’t exactly a fetish…But it IS an awesome move. Anyway, let’s continue:
Some people will only fuck people who are in good shape. People who are athletic. That’s acceptable. BUT then when people will only fuck fat people, suddenly it’s called a fetish. That’s odd, and seems a bit unfair. When someone says they’ll only date within their own race, that’s kind of old timey and vaguely racist, but people tend to think it’s fine, if a little antiquated/dull. BUT god help you if you like another race of people specifically. Then you’re a pervert. That’s not cool. I mean if I’m attracted to black guys and that’s it, that should be completely fine. Black guys are BORN black, just like women are BORN with vaginas. Now, I’m currently not really all that attracted to black guys as a general rule, but I AM attracted pretty exclusively to women. It’s not a fetish, right? I like people born with vaginas. Not all of them, but I sure as hell am not interested in fucking around with anyone born without a vagina (and that includes anyone, not just people with dicks). So in what way does that differ from having a disposition for black skin and letting that dictate your mate?
People are hung up, and having a meaningful conversation about race in this country is about as easy as talking about eating a wheel of cheese out of an old man’s ass at a Southern Baptist fish fry. There’s gonna be yelling, hurt feelings and lots and lots of judging, no matter how slowly and carefully you tread. My point is, for some reason, I was thinking about how most of the people I’ve been with have been slender, pretty white girls. Almost all of them…and now I’m married and the idea of banging (for example) an overweight black lady is never gonna be anything more than just an idea. Am I missing out? Who knows? But I’m definitely not missing out any more than the guy like me out there who ONLY fucks big beautiful black ladies, or the guy who just fucks midgets or the midget girl who only bangs surfers or the hairdresser that only fucks dudes that wear those crappy v neck shirts that go halfway down their chest and look like what would happen if Nerf made a disco shirt.
I guess the point is that indulging in what you like is cool, and habit is part of humanity and comfort is not to be taken lightly. There’s that one hippy that eats nothing but big macs for every meal of his life. I think it’s gross, but whatever. Good for him. I also think the idea of fucking a fat old man is gross, but there are people out there that line UP for that shit. So get out there and get freaky people. It’s all good. But keep it legal, eh? Most of those laws are in place for a reason.
Oh, and here’s some semi big news: My band, the Lawrence Arms is going on tour in early Novmber. West coast, starting in Arizona on November fifth and ending in SF a week later. Yeah, it’s not the biggest tour in the world, but it’s gonna be great and in support of our new digital EP and seven inch on Fat Wreck. You can buy tickets right on our myspace page I think, or at least you’re supposed to be able to. Technology is strange, man. We’re bringing Teenage Bottlerocket and the Cobra Skulls, so set wieners on hard and get your tickets, everyone.
See you all out there!