The darker the berry the sweeter the Juuuuuuice!

Brian Austin Green and Megan Fox. That’s a topic, right? I mean, people are talking about that shit like crazy. What are they saying? She’s hot, the hottest chick in the world and he’s just some schlubby dildo who used to be on 90210 and had a rap album (yes, he did) and is currently unemployed. People also talk about her bad tattoos, but mostly they talk about how it’s just inevitable that the two of them will break up and she’ll start dating someone who’s uh…you know, not David Silver.
Well, firstly, let’s not knock people with questionable tattoos, people who are unemployed and people who have put out bad music, kay? That’s um…I dunno. For some reason, I don’t like that. Second, David Silver, he’s a pretty good looking guy, isn’t he? I mean, I’ve got this picture of him in an unzipped, silver hoodie exposing his chest and…wait. No. Yeah, she’s super duper hot, and he’s a malorkus. That does kind of suck. Stupid, suck ass David Silver.
Seriously though, that chick is one of the best arguments against letting people pick tattoos when they’re young. She’s got some terrible portrait of Marilyn Monroe and some Shakespearean bullshit about gilded butterflies. Honey chile! That’s just nasty, baby. BUT, it’s not as bad as this picture I saw yesterday.
I saw, via the internet, a photo of this dude in a swimsuit. He’s either at some kind of pool party or beach or something and he’s got his arm around this pretty hot girl and on his arm there’s a tattoo of what looks like the little box at the bottom of a movie trailer that gives the rating and then kind of explains what the rating means, but where the PG or the R or the NC-17 would be, there’s a P, and then next to it, it says * ahem* “Player for life. Looking for luv? You’ve come to the wrong place.”
I don’t think there’s enough virtual ink on the internet for me to effectively list all the reasons that this is one of the most asinine things I’ve ever seen, but suffice it to say, I’m blown away. The dude kind of looks like a meaty Jim Carey and I dunno. Really? That’s your tattoo, bro? “Luv????” You couldn’t even be bothered to spell love correctly? I mean, what. The. Fuck?
Okay, I found the picture. Here’s the offending dumb dumb:
http://loltatz.com/2009/07/18/player-4-life-really/hcwdb/
My baby isn’t napping. He’s in his crib stomping around and kind of singing to himself. I wish he’d nap, because I have kind of a lot that I want to do right now, during this naptime, but it’s not looking good, man. Aye Chihuahua. He’s amped it up now. It’s wailing. I broke the coffee pot over the weekend and it’s really putting a damper on my morning routine. I mean, I’m used to about two hours here where I can get shit done and drink coffee while he sleeps. Today though, I got no coffee, no napping baby, AND I got a fucking ticket on my car for having no city sticker, but I DID HAVE THE FUCKING THING!!!!AND IT’S ON THE CAR!!!!! I’m so pissed about that, I can barely fucking see straight. It’s already extortion the way they make Chicagoans buy these fucking stickers, but this whole new program of just writing tickets then seeing who contests them, the ‘mail in rebate’ style of city revenue collection, really chaps my sack.
They’re trying to get the Olympics here. That’s what this is about, apparently. I dunno. I’m just sick of it all, man.
Well, according to that kid from the Sock Drawer, I can still get the original Sparks down at this liquor store right down the road, so that’s a silver lining in an otherwise horribly oppressive shit storm of a life, right? Suuuuure. Well, that and I’m going to get a sweet tattoo today. It’s gonna be a picture of Brian Austin Green shirtless, and tattooed on HIS chest, it’s gonna say “playa!” What do you think? Oh, and he’ll be showing off his tongue stud. Maybe it’ll be Sean Nader instead of Brian Austin Green, now that I think about it. He’s a rapper too. Okay, I got some thinking to do, folks. Don’t want to wind up with something stupid on my body forever, right? That would be horrible.