Thursday, October 22, 2009

like a king without a crown....

Hey wow! Did you guys know that Run DMC is working on a broadway musical? Or that Metallica is joining the search for their missing fan? How about matisyahu? He’s got a new record coming out! Yay! That’s great right? Sure it is…sigh. These, my sweet little dogs of war, are clues to my insane frustration. I have to go to work, and I’m trying to set this shit up so if IF this exciting news posts today I can keep you all informed by updating my blog using my phone. Don’t really know if that’s gonna work though. I’m sorry. I was led astray. I got everyone excited early (including myself) only to drag our collective dicks/dangling lips through the dirt for two days. Fuck.
Well, if it’s any consolation, practice was great last night. We played through the setlist for our ten year anniversary show on Saturday, and it’s cool. It’s about thirty songs, which is a ton. Hope you’re ready for it, Dogs.
God, I hate Matisyahu. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, liking matisyahu is proof positive that you’re racist. He’s terrible. His flow is weak, his rhymes are lAAAAAAAAme, his singing, barely in tune. If he was a black guy, Jamaican or otherwise, he’d be recognized as the untalented dildo box that he is, but since he’s “quirky” (read: dipshit Phish fan turned fake Hasid) he’s suddenly recognized as bringing something legit to the table? Huh. That’s odd. I don’t recall Phish fans or Hasids being galvanizing hip-cultural phenomena ever before…or since. So, well, can’t be that. What else does he have that no other dancehall reggaeton types have? Oh yes. Whiteness. Stop staring at me, Matisyahu. You’re a dipshit and I know, I KNOW that you at one point in your life wore sandals and smoked ‘dank buds’ through a hand blown chillum while listening to ‘run like an antelope.’ Now, you’re pushing the jew-black racial tensions even more than anyone ever thought possible by pissing off everyone. Look out, Professor Griff. Your Neo has arrived.
I can’t even talk about this anymore. I’m frustrated.
Again, sorry for the lack of info. Believe me, this bums me out as much as, or more than it does you.
Xoxoxox

26 comments:

Capt Murdock said...

I can’t take it anymore!

I hereby submit my resignation as not only a sock but also as a Do(n)g of War.

FranklinStein said...

B-Dawg,

I don't think you can comprehend how blue my balls are right now. Why is this, you may ask? Well, first of all, you've teased my penis hardcore in the past 48 hours with your empty promises. Second, tomorrow I board a plane from Texas with my best friends to see what I expect to be the most epic show of my life. I'll even be sleeping on a stranger's floor, a lad I met on the .org boards. Oh! How I need a release!

Let's bang fuckin' hard,
Sir Franklin

Gregory said...

seems like it won't even be exciting anymore.

Candice said...

30 songs will totally make up for these past few days of psychological torture

Jesus said...

I think anyone who's going has any right to complain. Period.

In fact, all the poor losers who aren't should recieve some sort of consolidation prize; like a hat or buttsex with someones dog. I don't know. Maybe a live DVD of the show?

I'm just chucking ideas around.

Joseph said...

If you guys aren't gonna film this for a live DVD you're fucking stupid. :)

Scott said...

30 songs...30...SONGS...my god this will be epic


word verification: sackingl

Mark said...

30 songs totally makes up for the wait..for whatever it is we're waiting for.
Word: punmaity

Kevin Burnett said...

really wish I could be at the show, however I am seeing your boyfriend Dan at the Trocadero tonight, so that should be fun.

Bukakkalypse Now!

dan said...

Don't complain guys. BK is doing this FOR US. Blue-balled or not, we still love him, and him us. When he can unload his package on us, he will. Period.

Also, 30 songs? Shit. I can't imagine what the set list will look like, but I'm sure it will be grand.

-Your intern (although you never emailed me back congratulating me on 'getting the job' or telling me when I start, or settling my pay or anything).
dan dun

Eddie said...

a dvd sounds sooooo good for us not able to make it. c'mon bk, do it for the socks.

Drew said...

I completely endorse Joseph's comment. If this extravaganza is not transmitted to a visual format in one way or another, hell will be raised!

harold said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHl4xx2Kw3U

You guys have seen this right?

planespotting said...

Let's guess what the song list will be, in order.

1. Like a Record Player
2. Turnstiles
3. A Guided Tour of Chicago
4. Kevin Costner's Casino
5. Overheated
6. Nebraska
7. Old Mexico Way
8. Smokestacks
9. Alert the Audience
10. 100 Resolutions
11. Porno and Snuff Films
12. Are you there Margaret ...
13. The Revisionist
14. Great Lakes/Great Escapes
15. The Ramblin' Boys of Pleasure
16. Light Breathing
17. An Evening of Extraordinary ...
18. Faintly Falling Ashes (acoustic)
19. Hey, What Time is Pensacola ...
20. Fireflies
21. Brickwall views
22. Asa Phelps is Dead
23. The Northside, L&L and any ...
24. Boatless Booze Cruise
25. Right as Rain part 2
26. Chicago is burning
27. Quincentuple Your Money
28. The Corpses of our Motivations
29. The Disaster March
30. The Last One

Thoughts? Criticisms? Outrages?

Banana@1000MPH said...

If this isn't announced before your 10th anniversary show, your brother will be in the crowd with his football buddies and start the chant "Brendan has a man-gina!"

However, this is all assumption.

Banana@1000MPH said...

And my guess is that The Lawrence Arms are putting on an off-off-Broadway musical about finding their missing fan, but it will all be a distraction for the real thing - a Matisyahu covers album.

dustyfloors said...

30 songs? Can't wait.

patnazzaro said...

i just got a boner imagining how great it would be if martha plimpton was in attendance for the show. you are flying her in right brendan?

Bridgett said...

Wow planespotting, you really think there's gonna be that much off Ghost Stories/Guided Tour?


30 songs is fucking magical, by the way.

Jayzilla said...

30 SONGS!?!?!? W00T!!!!!

FranklinStein said...

Here's the list that I submitted back in September, which, as can be seen, is exactly 30 songs:

1) An evening of extraordinary circumstance
2) The Northside, The L&L And Any Number of Crappy Apartments (why wouldn't you play this?!)
3) 16 hours
4) All the Week
5) Old Mexico Way
6) Ghost Stories
7) 106 South
8) The First Eviction Notice
9) Boatless Booze Cruise
10) Brickwall Views
11) The Corpses of Our Motivations
12) Abracadaver
13) Alert the Audience!
14) Chapter 13: The Hero Appears
15) The Ramblin' Boys of Pleasure
16) A Wishful Puppeteer
17) The Disaster March
18) In Transit
19) 100 Resolutions
20) There's No Place Like a Stranger's Floor
21) A Boring Story
22) A Toast
23) Nebraska
24) The Devil's Takin' Names
25) Recovering the Opposable Thumb
26) Great Lakes/Great Escapes
27) Beyond the Embarrassing Style
28) Are You There Margaret?
29) Lose Your Illusion 1
30) Like a Record Player

Ryan said...

they're def. gonna play some of the new songs

Katie said...

I seriously can't fucking wait for Saturday. I plan on going to the Gingerman or L&L for a pre-show drink, anyone else doing the same?

Moxie. said...

the fact that I am missing this makes me so sad.

Robin Yourgrave said...

You owe me a new pair of pants. Because I destroyed them upon discovering this thirty song nonsense.

Jesus.

josh s. said...

that shit about matisyahu is true. I have a buddy who went to high school with him in white plains, ny. He said that the bastard smoked until his eyes bled every day.