Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Nothing ever happens on Mars.

Well, it only took two months of writing every day, you know, except for the weekends, and it’s happened. I’m all out of things to say. Maybe I’m just tired. The little guy was up screaming from four to six, which has a way of kind of frazzling your brain and scattering your thoughts. I’ve been trying to write something for this class that I have tonight, and I can’t really do that either. It’s like the faucet has dried in my brain.
Yikes. I should take a nap or something. I wish I was comfortable just sitting around and playing video games, because that seems like a nice, mindless exercise, but I’m not. I can’t touch those things as a rule. I feel like I’m wasting my life when video games are on, and I get so antsy that I start to freak out. Watching TV can be the same, especially in the day.
As a general rule, I’m fine with that, since those things actually ARE pretty big life wasters, but every now and then, I’m all tired, full of coffee and sushi and unable to sleep or relax and I wish I could just stop typing for a second and play a little playstation. I can’t though. It’s impossible. I’m actually sweating right now just thinking about it. Jeez.
There are things that guys do that are masculine, that ultimately translate into a sexual energy that they give off. Things like, I don’t know, playing sports or doing construction or carpentry or something….more or less the shit I don’t do. And then, there are things that are so incredibly man-only that they shoot right past masculine and into the realm of ‘never ever been laid or even talked to a woman’. It’s quite the phenomenon. You blow right over “I killed this buffalo myself and built this guitar and now I’m gonna cook and sing for you” into ‘I live in the basement of my mom’s house and you could take my fingerprints by inking up my dick.” Video games fall into this category, along with Star Wars, figurine painting, Dungeons&Dragons, anything involving elves, pornography, comic books, Monty Python, rap metal, anime, toy collecting, fantasy football, fantasy baseball, fantasy novels, Insane Clown Posse, World of Warcraft (which actually falls into about ten of these categories) and anything involving some in depth description of noise frequencies. Anytime the punchline to a joke is “16K”, the people laughing are men; men with big gulps of diet dr. Pepper (no ice) in their hands.
Jesus, my brain feels like concrete today. I would like a Sparks.


Andrew said...

for someone with nothing to say I think this was probably one of your most entertaining blogs yet.
australiastic. wow.
when i have nothing to say i just don't write anything because if i tried to it would just come out as "i have nothing to say" written over again about 5 different ways

Andrea said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Matt Ramone said...

My girlfriend loves anime! What should I do?

John Barrett said...

Mad clown love Brendan, mad clown love.

Also, kudos for the Waiting for Guffman reference

grilled cheese said...

No sports or entertainment--No swinging bars--You stand around--You stand some more--On a planet named for the Roman god of war.

jess said...

since you brought up world of warcraft...

has anyone else ever heard of the term "socking it"? From what i gather it's when you shit in a sock so you don't have to get up, therefore interrupting your game.

I would love to know if it's a true practice or some sort of urban fable

Troy said...


Its called 'poopsocking' and originated from some weird hardcore group of Everquest players.