Friday, May 15, 2009

I just wrote this fucking thing and now I need to come up with a title? Fuuuuuck.

Things I will do this weekend:
See the Menzingers!
Eat a banana out of a midget’s asshole.
Play through that new falcon song a few times
Fart the alphabet.
Go to that Mexican restaurant around the way that everyone can’t stop talking about.
Fight off a hangover.
Play the guitar quietly in the fleeting moments of freedom that I still possess.
Talk on my cell phone even though I’m with perfectly decent people and I really should have no reason not to just pay attention to them.
Drink a beer.
Decide that yes, I would like an ice cream sandwich.
Watch pornography.
Openly mock someone’s world view.
Catch at least a few minutes of Thomas the Train, which will, in turn lead to me being vaguely creeped out.
Wipe another human being’s ass.
Check my email.
Badger my poor wife for some blowjobs.
Reconstruct my post Chimpgate face.
Guess her Muff.
Did I mention fart the alphabet? Oh.
Call up someone I haven’t spoken to in a long time with the intent of catching up. BUT I’ll do this at a stupid moment, like right before I walk in the door, SO, then I’ll hang up and there it’ll be in my call log…the evidence that I ATTEMPTED to think about catching up with, and being a good friend to Dave (for example…Hi dave!) but instead selfishly waited until it was impossible and then aborted the whole mission.

There are other things too. Sorry, I'm distracted. My wife’s out of town. I don’t want to go to work. The whole thing is devastating. I’m not in a thinking mood, as you can probably tell. I saw you guys down in the sock drawer are thinking about starting a forum. Good luck with that. I have no problem with it, but it seems superfluous. I mean, don’t you like your sock drawer? You guys are getting too good for your sock drawer? Your father and I work very hard to put good content into this main page every day so you have things to chat about in there and this is the thanks we get? No. Fine. Go ahead. Start a forum. I think you should. Have fun in your fancy forum. Just send us a card every now and again. sigh.

Ahhh…it’s Friday. Remember last Friday? No one cares about the internet on Friday, and I’m no exception. Is this a remarkably half assed entry? Yes. Do I care? Yes. Deeply. Uh…I LOVE the idea of a naked BSC gathering, BUT is that ever really gonna happen?…Oh, okay, how bout this? You guys start a forum and all your avatars have to be your dicks, or your cans or something? That’s good, right?
Jesus Christ. I gotta go. Pffffffffft.

39 comments:

Scott said...

in an effort of efficiency, I suggest you go to the mexican restaurant prior to the alphabet farting...

Matt Egger said...

I just saw the Menzingers in Philly when they played with Defiance, Ohio. They were pretty rockin', so enjoy.

Capt Murdock said...

I think The Sock Drawer forum will only enhance the quality of comments here at BSC. Think of the forum as hitting off a tee or playing a game of pepper while the BSC comments section is stepping up to the plate in Game 7 of the World Series.

Feel free to stop by if you have a few kinks in your swing:
http://thesockdrawer.proboards.com

Nico said...

i'd use a pic of my dong for an avatar if someone starts up a forum.

Nico said...

Shit... you beat me to the punch Murdock...

drew said...

I LOVE YOUR FRIDAY POST!


...enjoy wiping someone else's ass. But just think, when your old and decaying, you'll have your revenge!

Justin said...

I will also be seeing the Menzingers tonight, provided I wake up in time.

turnitout said...

Justin I think that would be something worth waking up for.

Stizzy said...

yeah Justin for the sake of insurance of not sleeping through that show I would suggest some meth

PIXI said...

Don't worry, Brendan, we will still be here in the sock drawer.

PIXI said...

OMG, stizzy, I can't believe you actually used your dong for your avatar! lol

Capt Murdock said...

....and a fine lookin dong it be!

Bridgett said...

Thomas the Train is pretty effed up. But aren't all kids' shows? Watch a few of them. They're pretty creepy.

Stizzy said...

hey when Brendan Kelly says jump I say "here's a picture of my dong"

FAskies said...

http://www.forums.lawrencearms.org/

theres your forums for anything lawrence arms related, that includes BSC, ill see if we can get a sock drawer section up

Candice said...

The word dong is just ridiculous

Stizzy said...

dongs are pretty ridiculous

Andrew said...

"omg i can't believe you actually used your dong as an avatar" may quite possibly be the funniest thing i have ever read in context. holy shit i can't stop laughing.

Swarles said...

Way off topic. So what do you think about the gun viloence in Chicago? Blame the guns or the idiots with guns?

wilddanimal said...

I already asked the Sock Drawer forum, but I thought I should ask The Man, Brendan himself: What the fuck am I gonna do? I had a date with a girl. I thought it went pretty well. But now I'm into her and I dunno what to do about it. She's somewhat fresh out of a long relationship, but already fucking other dudes, so the most I'm gonna get out of this in the short term is laid. But I'd like that, and possibly more in the future. Question is, how much attention to give? I find that women like me when I kinda act like I'm into them and kinda act like I don't give a fuck about them.

Sickie27 said...

I hate signing up for message boards because they never send me the confirmation e-mail. So I guess I'm out of the new Sock Drawer. :(

Since you're humorously imitating taking the role of our parent, Brendan... I just lost my college scholarship. So you're going to have to pay my tuition out of pocket for at least one year. Thanks, dad! <333

turnitout said...

You should totally come over. Its pretty much a huge sausage party right now.

Also when I signed up I got a confirmation email so it works. I saw it with my own eyes.

Louis Stevens said...

Brendan,

I'm twenty-three years old, and I've been a misfit loser pretty much my entire life.

I've recently gotten involved with a girl who I met through a friend, and we've hung out together at shows and with other friends in the local music and art scene. She's a really cool girl, and she's really into me. We've really hit it off after our first real date. We went exploring in this old military base and it went from shooting bb guns at wine bottles to rolling around on the floor making out and listening to Your Gravest Words.

My biggest concern is that she is much more experienced than I am. I've never had a girlfriend, and I've barely so much as made-out with a girl before, so I am obviously a virgin (I was able to hide behind my being straight edge for, but I drink too much whiskey now for that to be believable anymore). In a sense, anyone would be more experienced than I am. While I am ecstatic about being with her and the way things are working out so far, I am completely clueless about everything whatsoever.

I never had a big brother, and I guess what I'm looking for is some general big brotherly advice for relationships, and the ever important issue of sex.


I guess this is an open call for advice, anything and everything is appreciated.

Sean said...

the audio from the Cafe Eleven show is now posted as a torrent on Kraytracker.com

enjoy.

Nico said...

Louis Stevens:

I know I'm not Brendan, but i'm pretty sure if you're just honest with the girl, everything will work out fine. She will probably think its cute.

Stizzy said...

I'm gonna second nicos advice Louis. I was a virgin for way longer than any of my friends and the girl I lost it to was completely aware of that, and way more experienced(she had a kid). So don't sweat the small stuff man just be up front about it if she's any kind of a cool chick and not just a giant whore you'll be fine.

Louis Stevens said...

Thanks for the advice guys, I guess you just have to face it all head on and with honesty.

Saulio SBJ 123 said...

Anyone wanna be an enabler and allow me to continue on living without knowing how to use torrents by putting the Cafe 11 recordings on MediaFire or something of that nature? That'd be great.

Robb said...

My cousin has this (strangely compelling) habit of carrying money loosely and just sort of crumpling up the dollars in his pockets when he hits the bars. Last night in a moment of genius, I came up with the moniker 'Crumplestiltskin'. What I'm sayin is, let's collab on a screenplay, Bren. Mull it over, as I know you do all my input. We'll call it 'My Superbad Superdad' and it should pretty much write itself from there.

Robb said...

alternate title idea-- 'My Big Fat Greek Vagina'. You n me will be walkin on front street in no time.

Candice said...

i'd like to try out for the lead in "my big fat greek vagina' if it is ever made into a film. i am half irish, half italian but my vagina is very talented and can impersonate a number of nationalities.

Robb said...

Oh, silly ol' Candice! I'm already familiar with that box, because that WAS me you picked up outside the Chuck E. Cheese last friday. I DO think it could easily pull off Greek, with proper coaching. But for serious, no more PCP for us two! silly ol' Candice...

Stizzy said...

Candice- can your vagina do german? I'm trying to put together this nazi porno thing and for the life of me I can't find a convincing Eva Braun. Also, Brendan, do you think Derek Grant would mind dressing up like Hitler for an afternoon?

Candice said...

i could grow a hitler vagina mustache if the price is right or the costar is hot.

and robb- i think you're right. let's stick to the crack pipe.

Robb said...

I'd love to write a film entitled "Life is hot in cracktown". Oops--Buddy "Combat Shock" Giovinazzo already did! Imdb that shit.

I'm thinking grindhouse style double bill for greek vagina/nazi porn opus.

bishikon said...

whats brown and rhymes with snoop?

Capt Murdock said...

Hey BK

My wife claims that she read recently on this here blog that you are still swaddling your baby. Is this true?
If not when did you stop?
I only ask because our kid gave up swaddling after a week and my wife thinks he should have done it longer.

PIXI said...

um, poop?

Candice said...

dr. dre